


Phantom

by barbitone



Series: Voltron Fanfiction [15]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Sex, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Horror, Bottom Shiro (Voltron), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Horror Elements, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Post Season 8, Psychological Horror, Suicidal Thoughts, Top Lotor (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 01:34:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17214530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbitone/pseuds/barbitone
Summary: The war might be over but Shiro's work isn't finished- he's the Captain of the Atlas, and the Atlas is still on patrol. After two of his crew members make a discovery in the ruins of Oriande Shiro finds himself keeping a secret that threatens to eat him alive- Lotor isn't dead.Now with a Sequel-Phoenix





	Phantom

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my beta [Lutz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lutz/pseuds/lutz) and to [evanelric](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evanelric/pseuds/evanelric) for giving this fic the once-over and helping me iron it out!
> 
> If you have questions about any of the warnings and need clarification, please message me on tumblr (link in bottom notes)
> 
> Please enjoy and leave comments!

 

* * *

 

“Shiro- what are you still doing here?”

Shiro looked up from the Atlas’ main screen, rubbing at his temples. There was a migraine building behind his eyes and it was a little too close to the way he’d felt while under Haggar’s control. He resolved to ignore it. She was gone now, he reminded himself- gone for good.

“Sam,” he said quietly as the man walked over. “I’m just going over some of the data we got from Oriande. We have clean up crews going through the temple to make sure Honerva didn’t leave us any nasty surprises.”

“Shiro,” Sam said sternly, “when was the last time you got a full night’s sleep? Don’t you think you deserve to rest?”

Shiro smiled wryly and looked back down to the screen. He couldn’t rest, couldn’t let himself stop or else he’d fall apart. But he couldn’t tell Sam that, even though he was looking at him like maybe he already knew.

“I’m fine,” he said. “The battle is over but someone still needs to supervise the aftermath.”

“It doesn’t have to be you,” Sam said, reaching out to put his hand on Shiro’s shoulder. “Maybe you should think about… stepping back. Now that there’s peace the Atlas is no longer needed-”

“Are you trying to retire me, Sam?” Shiro asked. “I know I’ve gone gray, but I’m not that old.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Sam said quietly. “You’ve been through a lot, maybe you should take it easy. Go out and-”

“And do what?” Shiro interrupted sharply. “This is all I have. Go home to your family, Sam.”

“Shiro, you know that’s not true. You have people who love you-”

“ _Sam_ ,” Shiro said with a frown. “Please. I really can’t do this with you right now. I have to work. Do you understand? I have to work.”

Sam sighed and stepped away. “Alright,” he said at last. “Alright, just- you should know that I’m here for you. Colleen, too- all of us. You should come to dinner with the family at least. Tomorrow night?”

“I’ll- I’ll try,” he said, swallowing around the sudden knot in his throat.

“Alright, well. Good night, Shiro.”

“Good night, Sam,” Shiro said, already turning away, back to the screen. He heard Sam’s footsteps receding and the door sliding shut behind him and couldn’t help sagging a little with relief.

Sam was right, of course he was. The data was blurring in front of his eyes and his knees were shaking, his lower back had been hurting for at least a few hours now. He was exhausted but he had to keep going, he needed the distraction- needed it desperately. They’d lost so much and he needed to keep going or else he’d drown in grief and he just- he couldn’t.

There was a beep signalling an incoming transmission from one of the clean up crews and Shiro sighed, steeling himself before answering.

_“Captain Shirogane?”_

“Yes, what is it?”

_“Captain- this is Merla from clean up crew beta seven. I’m here with Tavo and I think- I think there’s something you need to see.”_

“What did you find?” Shiro asked, dread filling him like ice in his veins.

_“Captain, I’d rather not say over the comms. I think you should come down here as soon as possible.”_

“I’m on my way,” Shiro said. “Transmit your location and I’ll be right there.”

_“Yes sir.”_

Shiro headed for the hangar to get a shuttle, surprised to see the halls completely empty. It was later than he’d thought. There was a beep as the coordinates went through and Shiro pulled them up on screen, surprised to see Merla and Tavo seemed to be in the very center of the main structure. He hadn’t realized the crews had made so much progress in just two weeks.

He tried not to let worry overwhelm him as he made his way into the temple. The walls were marked by battle, even the inside was full of rubble and soot. According to their scans the temple was slowly falling apart, practically disintegrating as it floated dead in space.

The sound of his footsteps were loud in the ancient halls and he couldn’t help shivering. The temple seemed haunted, defiled. Something that had once been a holy life-giving place turned into a weapon of war the likes of which there never had been and god willing never would be again.

Eventually he found Merla and Tova standing tense and pale next to a large ornate set of doors.

“Captain,” she said with a respectful nod. “Please, this way.” She turned and opened the doors into a large chamber. It was dark inside but Shiro could make out shriveled vines crawling up the walls, and in the very center a softly glowing pod.

“What is this place?” Shiro asked.

“The inner sanctum,” Merla said.

“It has power?”

“The chamber is isolated from the rest of the temple, self contained,” Tova said. “The walls are reinforced and there seems to be a store of quintessence below, powering it even now.” He crossed his arms over his chest, for some reason he didn’t want to be here even as Merla seemed almost excited.

Shiro stepped closer carefully. There was something small lying on top of the pod, something black and orange and blue.

“Is that- Kova?” Shiro whispered. As he walked closer the cat stirred and hissed up at him weakly. Shiro’s heart was pounding as he looked into the pod.

He had to press his hand to his mouth so he wouldn’t be sick. He wasn’t sure what he was looking at- a body, perhaps, ravaged and torn, shriveled and wrapped with something like thin ropy vines.

“It’s-”

“It’s him,” Merla said with a tight smile. “Prince Lotor.”

Shiro turned away, closing his eyes. His mind was full of static and through it all- impossible rage. The witch had dragged Lotor’s body in here, into this pod, like something in a display case. Didn’t he deserve even a bit of dignity in death?

“Sir- what should we do?” Merla asked.

“The only thing we can do,” Shiro said quietly. “Let’s get him out of there- he deserves a proper burial. Now that Daibazaal is back we can find him a resting place there. Or maybe somewhere on Altea- he may have preferred that.”

“Captain, you don’t understand,” Merla said. “He’s still alive.”

“He isn’t!” Tova hissed. “Look at him! Your readings have to be wrong-”

“They’re not wrong!” Merla yelled and Kova raised his head to glare at them. “He’s alive! Barely, but he’s _alive_.”

“If he were alive why would Honerva rip apart the Universe looking for him? Why did she do any of it?” Tova demanded.

“When the Atlas merged with Voltron, the six of us were connected mind-to-mind,” Shiro said numbly. “I saw what they’d seen inside her mindscape. I saw- she wanted Lotor but not as he was- as he- as he _is_. She only ever pictured him as a child, she wanted a fantasy of the family she thought had been taken from her. She wanted to start over.”

“What she wanted doesn’t matter anymore,” Merla said. “What matters now is what we can do for him.”

“With the state he’s in it might be kinder to just end it,” Tova muttered.

“ _No_!” Merla cried out. “We can’t do that- he’s still fighting, I know it! We have to help him.”

“There’s no helping him! Just look- _look_! You need to let him go, Merla! I know how much you loved him but he was no savior, he sacrificed thousands of us-”

“Regardless of what he’s done, he _was_ our savior,” Merla hissed. “We wouldn’t be here without him and you know it, Tova.”

“He _used_ us, he was a murderer. How can you forgive him like this?”

“If there can be no forgiveness for him, what of us?” Merla asked quietly. “What about what we’ve done? We nearly helped Honerva destroy everything. We ended entire _planets_ , Tova- for revenge, and for him. So we could get him back.”

“That was different. She tricked us, ensorcelled us. But he- he knew exactly what he was doing. He _chose_ to-”

“So did we!” Merla said.

“That’s _enough_ ,” Shiro spoke up. “I’m not ordering his execution. Who else knows he’s here?”

“Just the three of us,” Merla said.

“Alright, let’s keep it that way. Can we get him to the Atlas?”

“I don’t know if it’s safe to move him,” Merla said.

“We have to- Oriande is crumbling. According to the latest projections we only have a few days before it’s gone. Maybe less.”

“This is madness,” Tova grumbled.

“That may be so, but I’ve made my decision,” Shiro said coldly. “Will you obey, Tova? Or am I not your Captain?”

“I will obey, sir,” Tova said, pressing his lips into a tight line as his eyebrows drew down in anger.

“Good,” Shiro said, looking back at the pod. Lotor didn’t seem alive to him, but he was willing to trust Merla on this. Kova was purring like he knew they were going to try to help. Shiro reached out and carefully took the cat into his arms. He was practically skeletal- how long had he been waiting here patiently by Lotor’s side?

“I don’t think we should remove him from the pod,” Tova said slowly. “It looks like a healing pod, if he is alive it’s only because of that. But maybe we could- maybe we could take the entire room. The walls are reinforced, as I’ve said. I think we may be able to free the room from the rest of the temple. The main hangar may be large enough to house it, but we can’t exactly do this in secrecy.”

“Fine,” Shiro said with a nod. “That’s what we’ll do. I’ll figure out what to tell the crew about what’s going on but no one can know what’s inside, at least until we understand more about his condition. In the meantime, someone should stay here and keep an eye on him.”

“I’ll do it,” Merla said.

“Alright. Call me if anything changes, and be careful- stay safe. Tova- figure out how to grab the room, let me know what you’ll need and I’ll see to it that you get it.”

 

* * *

 

It took four days and so many lies Shiro’s head was spinning with it, but in the end they chiseled the chamber out of the stone and loaded it into the main hangar- now empty and off limits to all personnel but Shiro, Merla, and Tova.

“What are you doing, Shiro?” Sam asked, cornering him after dinner. “What is this?”

“I told you-”

“You lied to me,” Sam said. “To all of us. I know you well enough by now to know that much. Why did you drag this piece of rubble onto our ship? What’s inside?”

Shiro sighed and briefly considered telling the truth but something stopped him. Tova was right that this was madness, if anyone found out Lotor may yet be alive he had no idea what would happen. Panic, maybe. Maybe even civil war. Lotor was technically still the rightful Emperor of the Galra, he still had supporters out there and easily twice the number of enemies if not more.

And he could yet die- he was close to it. If he did, there would be no sense in causing panic for nothing.

“It’s unidentified Altean technology, maybe a weapon,” Shiro said, falling into the by-now familiar lie. “Merla and Tova think we can harness it for the Coalition, but it’s been tainted by Honerva’s dark magic. It’s dangerous and we shouldn’t expose anyone else to it until we find out more.”

“Right,” Sam said, his voice full of quiet disappointment. “Fine, _Captain_. When you’re ready to tell me the truth, you know where to find me.”

Shiro let him walk away and returned to his rooms.

“Hey buddy,” he whispered as Kova walked over to rub himself on Shiro’s legs. “You’re looking better. You’ve been eating, huh? Good boy.”

Kova meowed and sat back, putting his paws up on Shiro’s shin.

“You want up? Alright.” Shiro bent to pick up the cat, holding him close to his chest as he sat down on his bed with a sigh. “I didn’t know you were this friendly. I thought you’d be kind of an asshole.”

Kova hissed and Shiro couldn’t help laughing a little. “Sorry,” he said, stroking the cat’s head gently. “How the hell am I going to explain you, huh?”

He’d managed to smuggle the cat into his rooms four days ago with no one seeing, but despite being an immortal cat apparently it still ate and drank and therefore pissed and shit too. Shiro had managed to rig up a litter box for him that he’d been emptying every day but his room was starting to smell a little off and he needed to figure out something else, the sooner the better.

Maybe the cat would want to stay with Lotor, but he didn’t want to leave the poor animal in there all alone in the dark, it was just too sad. Shiro was already sad enough without knowing Kova was curled up on top of the healing pod waiting for his master to wake even though that may never happen.

“Maybe I’ll just tell the truth, or a little bit of it,” Shiro whispered to the cat purring in his arms. “I can say I found you in the ruins and we just- won’t mention the rest of it. Then you can have the run of the ship instead of being cooped up in here. Does that sound nice? You have to be a good boy, though. You have to get along with Bebe and Kosmo or else we’re going to have problems.”

Kova glared up at him like he’d just insulted his intelligence and Shiro couldn’t help laughing. If anyone walked by they’d think he’d lost it- talking to himself in his room. Suddenly that seemed hilarious and he laughed again, plopping down on the bed.

What was he _doing_? Was he actually losing it, going off the rails? Now that they’d ended the war did he really need to create more problems for himself, for everybody? Maybe Tova was right and he really should have just- _ended it_. Maybe he should have let Lotor’s suffering be over at last and just- wiped it all away so no one even knew the possibility of his return had existed.

But he couldn’t do it, the thought of it alone made him recoil with disgust. Lotor been an ally once and Shiro didn’t think it had all been an act.

He still had the clone’s memories- he remembered how he’d helped Lotor at the prisoner exchange, at the Kral Zera. He even remembered saving him after they found out about the Colony, taking him away from the Paladins and back to Haggar. Lotor had woken up while they were still half way there- he hadn’t known where Shiro had been taking him, he’d been frantic to get back, to explain, and when he figured out what was happening he’d tried to take control of the ship.

That was when Shiro had knocked him out and shackled him so he could deliver him to his mother. It was hazy but he remembered it well enough to feel guilty about it, about how he’d been used.

Maybe things could have been different, maybe they still could be, and maybe Shiro was only doing this as a way to atone for his own mistakes.

“Ow!” he cried out when Kova bit him on the finger. “Hey! I thought we were friends.”

Kova hissed and hopped off the bed to pace restlessly in front of the door. Shiro sat up and ran a hand through his hair with a sigh.

“You wanna see him, huh? Alright. Let’s go see him.”

Shiro walked through the halls with Kova trailing after him and if anyone noticed they didn’t dare ask any questions. The lights in the hangar were lowered to conserve power but there was a faint glow coming from the edges of the door to the Altean chamber.

Shiro opened the door and Kova _yowled_ , running inside and leaping to pace on top of the pod restlessly. Shiro followed more slowly, dread rising as he got closer. He didn’t want to look inside but he was drawn forward almost despite himself.

God, it was horrible. How someone could be _alive_ like that he didn’t know, but Merla had rigged up monitors to keep track of Lotor’s vital signs and they were showing activity. Faint and ragged- but there just like she’d said.

“I’m sorry,” Shiro whispered, laying his palm down on the glass of the pod and forcing himself to look. “Whatever you’ve done- you didn’t deserve this.”

Kova lay down and curled into himself, hiding Lotor’s ravaged face from view, and started purring. The monitors jumped with activity, speeding up a little.

“What the-” Shiro squinted, but sure enough- Lotor’s heartbeat had grown the tiniest bit stronger. “Kova, come here,” he said, picking the cat back up.

Kova hissed and tried to scratch him but Shiro was holding him with his metal arm and he ignored it. The monitors slowed again. He let the cat go and it glared at him before curling up in its old spot and resuming its purring.

The monitors sped up and Shiro’s eyes widened.

“I guess he wants you here, huh,” he whispered. “I guess you want to stay here too. Alright, buddy, that’s ok. I’ll make sure to bring your food and stuff in here, ok?”

He was talking to a cat and what amounted to little more than a corpse and he flushed with embarrassment even though there was no one here to hear him.

“But this is good, right?” Shiro couldn’t help asking. “This means you can get better. You’re getting better. Right?”

“Captain?”

Shiro turned to see Merla and tried not to wince at having been caught out.

“I was just leaving,” he said, stepping back from the pod. “Oh- leave the cat. I think he may be helping.”

“Yes, sir,” she said, looking at him oddly, and Shiro made his escape.

 

* * *

 

Over the next few months things seemed to settle down. The Atlas slowly emptied as crew members went their different ways- some going home, some joining planetside relief efforts. Before long they were running on a skeleton crew. The Holts returned to Earth, Coran and Lance went to Altea to rebuild. Keith and the Blades went to Daibazaal as they tried to bring the Galra together under a system of representative democracy. Eventually Hunk left too and Shiro found himself alone.

The Atlas patrolled friendly sectors and went on the occasional simple mission- mostly transporting cargo and sometimes, on particularly exciting days, scaring bandits away from fledgling Coalition trade routes.

Kova roamed the ship freely, somehow managing to get in and out of any place he chose, and became an unofficial mascot for the crew members that were left.

For lack of anything better to do Shiro found himself visiting Lotor more often, standing over the pod with his palm pressed to the glass and talking about random nonsense- gossip he’d heard, what he’d had for lunch, their latest missions. If Lotor could respond to Kova’s purring, surely he could hear Shiro talking to him? He wasn’t sure if it was helping but at least it didn’t seem to be hurting. And it wasn’t like Shiro had anyone else to talk to anyway.

Slowly- so painfully slowly- Lotor’s condition started to improve. He didn’t look like a corpse anymore, even though he was still horrifically gaunt and his skin seemed dry and shriveled. His breathing grew strong enough that it fogged up the glass above his face in rhythmic intervals and his heartbeat evened out into something slow but steady.

Shiro wondered if and when he would wake and what Shiro would do then. How much longer could he hide this from his crew and the Coalition? When Lotor woke Shiro wouldn’t be able to keep him here in this chamber, he’d have to bring him to the medbay and eventually figure out what to do with him. There’d be no hiding him then.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, right Lotor?” he asked.

Lotor seemed to frown and Shiro leaned closer. He hadn’t done that before.

“Lotor?” he whispered.

But that was the end of it- he didn’t move again.

“Alright,” Shiro said, running a hand through his hair as he stepped back. He wasn’t even entirely sure he’d seen anything at all and suddenly he felt exhausted by all of this. “I’m gonna- I’m gonna go.” He wasn’t sure who or what he was even talking to anymore. When was the last time he’d had a conversation about something that wasn’t the Atlas with someone who talked back? It felt like ages and he suddenly felt old and useless, completely alone. He shivered as he forced himself to look away from Lotor’s face.

“Do you want to come to dinner with me, Kova? Or do you want to stay here?” he asked.

Kova stood and stretched, yawning widely before hopping up to Shiro’s shoulder and curling up there. “Alright, buddy,” Shiro muttered, wincing at the small pinpricks of the cat’s claws through his uniform. “Easy there. Let’s go see what they’re serving up, yeah?”

When he left the hangar he nearly walked into one of his remaining bridge officers- Curtis.

“Sorry, Captain,” he said with an easy smile. “I thought I may find you here.”

“Did you need me for something?” Shiro asked, fighting not to flinch or glance back over his shoulder. After months of nothing happening most of the crew had lost their curiosity about the hangar and the supposed unidentified Altean technology within, but he still worried that one day someone may force their way inside and learn the truth.

“Not- not _need_ , exactly,” Curtis said, blushing. “I just thought- maybe. Well. Things are a little different around here now that the war is over and so many people are gone. Maybe- maybe a little- casual? Not too casual!” He winced, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean- not so casual that I don’t still respect your command, obviously! Sir. I just. I just thought-”

Shiro raised his eyebrows as it slowly dawned on him what was happening. Even though he felt a million years old and like his joints were full of rust, he wasn’t so out of it that he didn’t know what it looked like when someone was trying to ask him out.

“Yes?” Shiro asked, smiling a little despite himself.

“I just thought- you might like to join me for dinner?” Curtis asked, finally getting the words to come out all in a rush.

Kova hissed and Curtis flinched back.

“Behave yourself, Kova,” Shiro said to him sternly and the cat settled down.

“I don’t think he likes me,” Curtis said with a nervous laugh.

“I think he’s just messing with you,” Shiro said. “He’s becoming a spoiled stinky boy. Aren’t you, Kova?”

Kova ignored him pointedly as Shiro stroked his head, stalling. Would it really be so bad? Curtis was right, the chain of command wasn’t exactly as strict now as it used to be. And more than that- Shiro felt so alone.

Maybe it was wrong of him but he needed _something_. A friendly touch, a chance to talk about something with someone who was actually listening to him. It didn’t have to be a big thing, it could just be dinner.

“Dinner sounds good, Officer,” Shiro said and winced at the knee-jerk address. Curtis winced too. “Sorry,” Shiro said sheepishly.

“That’s alright,” Curtis said with a smile. “Dinner is good today, we just got a shipment of fresh Langorian Brill and the chef is using one of Hunk’s recipes. Plus I hear there’s apple pie for dessert, but it’s already a little late in the evening and it might be all gone- so don’t get your hopes up.”

“I’ll try not to,” Shiro said, following Curtis down the hall. Their hands brushed together and that was when Shiro realized he hadn’t touched or been touched by anyone for weeks- not since Hunk’s goodbye hug. God, he was pathetic.

He swallowed nervously, suddenly breaking out into a cold sweat. He was going to make a complete fool of himself, wasn’t he. And then things would be awkward on the bridge and there would be rumors- if there weren’t already. How erratic was he acting? He wasn’t sure, but going on a date with an officer didn’t exactly look good for him on that front.

And worst of all- if Curtis knew to wait for him outside the hangar to catch him alone- did everyone else know too? What did they think he was doing in there? Did they think he was losing it? _Was_ he losing it? Was it possible to go crazy without realizing it?

What if he lost his command and was sent home to Earth for this? What would happen to the Atlas then, what would happen to _Lotor_ , lying comatose in his healing pod? Merla wouldn’t be able to keep the new captain from finding out what was going on, and Tova wouldn’t care to. They’d find him, take him away, kill him-

“Shiro!”

Shiro snapped back to reality to see they’d stopped and Curtis was staring at him like that wasn’t the first time he’d called his name.

“Shiro- are you alright?”

“I- suddenly I don’t feel so good,” Shiro said carefully. “I think I’d better pass on dinner after all.”

“It wasn’t something I said, was it?” Curtis asked with a hopeful smile. Shiro had no idea what Curtis had said, just remembered vague sounds washing past his ears as he nearly totally lost it.

“No,” Shiro assured him. “It wasn’t anything you said. I just-”

“Had a bit of a panic attack.”

“What?” Shiro asked sharply. “I don’t-”

“Captain,” Curtis said, putting his hand carefully on Shiro’s upper arm. Shiro couldn’t help shivering at that and hoping Curtis hadn’t noticed. God, even that little felt so good. “We’ve all got our issues after everything that happened. And with what you went through- it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Well,” Shiro said slowly. “Thank you. But I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention this to anyone.”

Curtis mimed zipping his lips and throwing away the key and Shiro couldn’t help smiling a little.

“Cheesy,” he said.

Curtis shrugged and squeezed Shiro’s arm before letting go. “Maybe we can have dinner in private? I could- I could go down to the mess hall and bring up some food for us, and then that way there’s no pressure? I’m guessing your quarters are roomier but we can go to mine if you want.”

“Alright,” Shiro said after a moment’s thought. It would be fine, wouldn’t it? No one would have to know, and in private they could- but he couldn’t think about that now, in the middle of the hall. “My quarters will be fine.”

“Sure,” Curtis said. “I’ll meet you there in ten.” He was gone before Shiro could change his mind. Smart man.

“Am I a total idiot?” he whispered to Kova still draped over his shoulder. The cat meowed pointedly in a way that Shiro took to mean yes.

It was too late to go back on it now though, wasn’t it? He headed back to his rooms and tidied up in a bit of a stupor, not that there was much to tidy. He looked around the room, suddenly realizing he didn’t have any _things_. Who the hell even was he?

His encroaching identity crisis came to an abrupt halt at the knock on his door. When he went to open it Kova hissed and jumped off his shoulder, padding away casually.

“I guess he wanted to give us some privacy,” Curtis said and almost immediately his eyes widened and he blushed.

“Smart cat,” Shiro said, stepping back to let Curtis in. He was holding two covered trays stacked on top of each other and had a bottle of wine tucked under his arm. “Where’d you get that?” Shiro asked as Curtis set the food down on the small dining table.

“I have my ways,” Curtis said with a grin.

“I don’t think I’ve had a drink in-” Shiro paused. “Years, now. I might completely embarrass myself.”

“I’m not gonna lie- I wouldn’t mind seeing that,” Curtis said. “I’ve heard stories about you in your Garrison days. Is it true you and some buddies filled Commander Iverson’s quarters with shaving cream?”

Shiro found himself laughing in surprise. “Wow, that was- that was at least three lifetimes ago.”

“I knew it!” Curtis cried out as he opened the wine, a twist top bottle but Shiro wasn’t going to complain. Curtis sniffed it carefully and grinned. “Oh good, it hasn’t turned into vinegar yet. I was worried- it’s not exactly the best vintage.”

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Shiro said, sitting down.

It was surprisingly easy after that. They talked about nothing, silly things like their days at the Garrison and whatever dumb things that happened on recent missions, skirting around any difficult topics. They got a little drunk, and after dinner Shiro had the courage to put his hand over Curtis’ on the table and before he knew what was happening they were kissing and stumbling over to the bed, pulling each other’s clothes off.

It was good- touching someone, being touched in return, being _wanted_ for something as small as sex, for something as big as being vulnerable with another person.

“I haven’t exactly done this in a while,” Shiro breathed out, naked and hard as Curtis sat between his thighs and poured lube over his fingers.

“I’ll go easy on you,” Curtis said and pushed in slowly, opening him up like a man who knew exactly what he was doing. Shiro stopped thinking then, laying back and just letting him- letting him touch him, fuck him. They moved against each other slowly, sweat-slick chests rubbing together as their gasps mingled in the quiet room. Shiro grew silent and arched up as he came, and then grabbed Curtis by the hips to urge him to keep going until he finished too, breathing hard into Shiro’s neck.

“That went better than I hoped,” Curtis murmured some time later.

“Yeah,” Shiro said. He felt better than he had in a long time.

“Should I go?” Curtis asked uncertainly.

“You can stay the night if you want. I’ll warn you- I have to get up at o’six hundred but if that doesn’t bother you-”

“No, that doesn’t bother me. Shiro.”

“Alright,” Shiro grinned, pulling him in closer. “Good night- Curtis.”

 

* * *

 

He didn’t want to think of it as a _thing_ but it was definitely becoming a thing anyway no matter what he thought. They met up for dinner once or twice a week, and sometimes they skipped dinner. It was good.

It was all pretty good, so why did it make Shiro so goddamn _nervous_?

He had too many secrets- or at least, the one he had was too big- to be getting close to anyone right now. But he just needed- he just needed not to feel alone. He couldn’t keep going like he had been, talking to Lotor’s silent body in his pod, to his cat that seemed a little more sentient than it had any right to be.

And Lotor- he was getting closer to waking up. It was undeniable now. Sometimes he frowned, or moved, and once Shiro was sure he’d said something, his voice coming out in a reedy unintelligible whisper. He still looked terrible, his skin pale as ash and his hair lank and gray, his cheeks sunken and his lips dry and cracked- but he could no longer be mistaken for a corpse. He was _alive_ , and only growing more so with each passing day and Shiro still had no idea what he was going to do when Lotor finally opened his eyes.

Would Lotor be violent? Would he even really be conscious, would he be _himself_? After their exposure to the rift Honerva and Zarkon had become frightening monsters, they’d forgotten almost everything of their past lives. How long had Lotor been drifting in that same rift in his ship before Honerva pulled him out? Would he have _powers_ that no one could predict, would he be able to wreak havoc on the Atlas and everyone on it, on the entire universe?

One thing was for sure- he’d need a doctor and Shiro would have to get him one. But how? Where would he get a Galra doctor who would know what to do, how to help him?

On a whim Shiro looked into Zarkon’s court, the political prisoners that were being held on Daibazaal for refusing to bow to the Coalition, and through a stroke of sheer luck he managed to strike gold- he found the very doctor who’d delivered Lotor ten thousand years ago. He put in for a prisoner transfer and prayed no one would ask any questions, but his credentials as Captain of the Atlas and former Black Paladin held strong and within a few days his request was honored and the doctor sent over to be housed in the Atlas’ own brig.

He deflected the resulting questions with more lies, his heart growing tighter and tighter with each day.

Merla set up another monitor to map Lotor’s brain waves and an alarm to alert them if anything changed.

Over a year after the end of the war the alarm finally went off in the middle of the night and Shiro jerked out of bed, fumbling for his clothes.

“What’s wrong?” Curtis asked blearily.

“Nothing, go back to sleep.”

“It’s not nothing, Shiro,” Curtis said sharply. “What’s going on? I haven’t asked you about what you’re doing in that hangar but I think I deserve to know.”

“You already know,” Shiro bit out, getting dressed in a hurry. Kova yowled and paced near the door, sensing that something was happening.

“Don’t lie to me- not now,” Curtis said. “What are you doing, Shiro? What’s in there?”

“Nothing you need to worry about.”

“ _Shiro-_ ” Curtis said loudly and Shiro pulled up short, looking back at him. “Shiro, _please_. Don’t you trust me?”

“Curtis-” Shiro said, too frantic to come up with a lie. He had to _go_.

“No- I’ve tried to be understanding, but you can’t keep lying. We’ve been together for months, doesn’t that mean anything?”

“You know what you need to know,” Shiro said, distracted by the way Kova was screaming at him.

“Fuck that,” Curtis breathed out, his eyebrows drawing down in anger. “ _Tell me_. If you leave now without telling me what this is about, it’s over between us. Do you understand? It’s over.”

“Then it’s over,” Shiro said quietly. He didn’t have time to feel guilty- he didn’t have time for anything. He’d shut off the alarm but it was still ringing in his ears as he sprinted down the halls, not caring if anyone saw any more.

Everything went blurry until he was in the Altean chamber, until he saw Lotor’s skeletal hand slamming up against the glass from the inside, scraping at the barrier with his jagged claws. His knuckles were bleeding, there was blood smeared everywhere.

“Oh god,” Shiro breathed out.

“He’s awake,” Merla gasped as she did something at the side of the pod. “He’s trying to get out, he’s-”

Lotor screamed and Shiro flinched at the awful sound, like pure agony being ripped out of him.

Kova jumped on the glass to start pacing and crying out nervously and Lotor’s frantic banging stilled.

“Ok, we have to get it open,” Shiro said.

“We don’t know how,” Tova said, doing something at a console they’d hooked into the pod.

“Maybe I can break it,” Shiro said, tightening his robot hand into a fist.

“You’ll hurt him!” Merla cried out. “You’ll frighten him- he needs- he needs- I don’t know. Something. Not that.”

“Ok,” Shiro said, getting closer. He looked through the glass into Lotor’s wide frightened eyes. He was fighting for breath, his cheeks flushed and stained with droplets of blood. There was blood on his lips, he was choking on it.

He tried to move away when he saw Shiro and Kova yowled loudly until Lotor’s attention was caught on him. Shiro pressed his robot hand to the pod, trying to open his mind like he did with the Atlas. He saw- something. Something like the way it was held together, enough to just- _pull_ and there was a hiss as the glass slid open.

He nearly gagged at the sharp smell of blood and sweat and _fear_ that rose from the pod to fill the room, and something else- like smoke and lightning and ozone, the crackling power of quintessence dissipating.

Lotor gasped desperately as he fought to get up and Kova jumped down to sit on his chest.

“Easy,” Shiro said, “easy. You’re fine, you’re alright. You’re safe now.”

Lotor carefully brought his shaking hands up to hold Kova closer as he stared at Shiro with pure terror in his eyes.

“It’s alright,” Shiro said, holding his hands up. “Everything’s alright- you’re safe here. No one’s going to hurt you.”

“Sire,” Merla said and Lotor turned to her, his eyes widening. “Sire! Please- please. He’s right, he’s telling the truth. We want to help you- that’s all. We’re trying to help you.”

Lotor gasped like he was trying to speak and then his eyes rolled back and he collapsed.

“Sire?” Merla whispered, carefully leaning in to press her hands to his neck, his face.

“Is he-” Shiro asked.

Kova was crying over his chest, screaming up a storm- and then he calmed and curled up into a ball, purring loudly. Lotor’s breathing evened out into something like sleep and Shiro knew he’d be alright, at least for a little while.

“He’s- I think he passed out,” Merla said quietly. “What do we do now, Captain? We can’t just keep him in here now that he may wake.”

“Hold on,” Shiro said, thinking. The Atlas was pulling at him, nudging at his mind. They needed a medbay but they couldn’t just parade Lotor through the halls, could they? Maybe- maybe Shiro could bring the medbay to them.

He opened his mind to the whispers of the Atlas, feeling the entirety of the ship and its hundreds of occupants in his thoughts. For a ship this size they had multiple medbays, and with a crew so small most were uninhabited. It would be precision work like he’d never done before to bring one here, into the hangar, but he could do it. Atlas wanted to help him.

He closed his eyes and focused, and before he knew quite what he’d done a chamber was rising out of the floor outside the Altean room, a fully equipped medbay inside.

“I’ll take him,” Shiro said as he opened his eyes. He leaned down and gently took Lotor in his arms. Kova hissed but stepped out of the way, jumping down to the ground to follow. Lotor was so light and Shiro couldn’t quite contain the nausea rising inside him. But this was- this was an improvement, wasn’t it? He’d only keep getting better from here on out, wouldn’t he?

Shiro took Lotor to one of the beds and set him down onto the sheets before pausing to look at him. His hair was a matted mess and his dry skin was covered in something almost like sap- crystalized quintessence. Shiro reached out to wipe at his cheek with his left thumb and the sap crumbled into nothing. Lotor’s cracked lips parted around a rattling sigh and his hands twitched but he didn’t wake again.

Shiro didn’t quite know where to go from here but it wasn’t like that feeling was new.

“Keep an eye on him,” he said to Merla. “Clean him up if you can and let me know if anything changes. I’m going to get his doctor.”

 

* * *

 

The doctor flinched when Shiro walked into the cell and then turned away, pressing himself further into the corner of the room like he was afraid.

“Doctor Rodak,” Shiro greeted him.

“What do you want?” he demanded. “Why did you bring me here?”

“To ask you a simple question,” Shiro said slowly. “Tell me- who are you loyal to?”

“Not you,” Rodak spit out, crossing his arms over his chest and turning away.

“Who are you _loyal_ to,” Shiro asked again. “The Galra Empire? Zarkon?”

“Fuck _Zarkon_ ,” Rodak said. “He’s dead, my loyalty is of no use to him.”

“So you’re loyal to the Galra Empire, then?” Shiro asked, raising an eyebrow. “That’s gone too.”

“I’m loyal to my Emperor!” Rodak snarled. “Emperor Lotor.”

“Why would you still be loyal to him?” Shiro asked quietly.

“Fuck you!” Rodak cried, struggling to his feet. “I delivered him myself, I fed him his bottle when his parents couldn’t bear to touch him. I tended to his every scrape and bruise and broken bone from his training, much less- the rest of it.” He shuddered and turned away, slumping against the wall.

“I’m loyal to Emperor Lotor- whose light would still be gracing the Kral Zera if it weren’t for you and your fucking Coalition. He could have brought the Galra Empire to greatness- he could have- he would have-”

Rodak frowned, looking down. “He could have been a great man, he already was. But you ended him. You-”

“So you’re loyal to Emperor Lotor, even now?” Shiro asked carefully.

“You can do what you like with me- torture me, execute me, anything. But in the end my answer will be the same. I will not bow to your Coalition because I will not turn on him. I am loyal to Emperor Lotor- now and forever.”

“Good,” Shiro said quietly, taking a step back.

“ _Good_?” Rodak asked, his eyes widening in confusion.

“Good,” Shiro repeated. “A man should trust his doctor, shouldn’t he?”

“Is this- is this some sick joke?”

“No,” Shiro said. “Come with me- now. Stay quiet. If you speak of this to anyone I _will_ kill you.”

The doctor swallowed loudly and then stepped forward so Shiro could take him by the arm and lead him away.

“Quiet,” Shiro hissed, taking him through the halls towards the hangar. It was late enough that they wouldn’t be likely to meet anyone, but even so Shiro opened his mind to Atlas so he could sense his crew and avoid them when he needed to. And then they were walking into the medbay Shiro had pulled into the room.

“Dear Ancestors,” Rodak breathed out as he saw Lotor laid out in the bed. “How- how is he-?”

“I don’t know much,” Shiro said slowly, watching with narrowed eyes as Rodak advanced to place his hand on Lotor’s brow. “We found him in the witch’s lair and he only recently woke. I’ve been- I’ve been keeping his presence here secret. He has a lot of enemies. It wouldn’t be safe for him if anyone knew he was still alive.”

“He’s in terrible shape,” Rodak breathed out, pulling back to stare at Shiro in confusion. “I’ll need-”

“Tell Merla what you’ll need,” Shiro said, nodding towards her standing tense in the corner of the room. “She’ll tell me, and I’ll make sure you get it.”

“I won’t cure him just so you can- can- _execute_ him or put him on trial in one of your sham courts!” Rodak cried out. “I’ll see him dead before I see him suffer further at your hands.”

“I don’t want him to suffer,” Shiro said quietly. “I want him to be well. I need you to help him. Can you do that?”

“Yes,” Rodak said, turning back to run his hands over Lotor’s lank hair. “I’ll write you a list. I’ll take care of him as best I can.”

“Good,” Shiro said. “You’ll stay here- out of sight. Keep me updated on any progress. Merla will keep an eye on you and if you try anything- I'll make sure you don't get the chance to try it again. Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” Rodak breathed out.

“Yes _what_?” Shiro demanded. “I’m the Captain of this ship, address me as such so I know you understand your position. Let’s try this again- you’ll help him and you won’t give me any trouble. Do you understand?”

“Yes, _Captain,_ ” Rodak spit out.

“Very good,” Shiro said coldly. “I could do with less attitude next time but you may proceed. Merla?”

“Yes, sir,” she said, her eyes glittering with determination. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

Shiro nodded and stalked out.

 

* * *

 

Curtis asked to be transferred and Shiro granted the request without protest, and then others did as well and the crew dwindled further.

But that was alright. Shiro could handle Atlas just fine on his own, the longer he spent inside the more it felt a part of him, or maybe he was becoming a part of it. And more than that- the less people were aboard the lower the chances that anyone would find out about Lotor.

Shiro had enough problems where that was concerned now. When the doctor was asleep Shiro and Merla took turns staying with Lotor, not that he was often conscious. When he was he refused to speak or even look at them, only managing to hold Kova close to his chest.

Shiro was exhausted mentally and physically, but so were all three of them and there was no one else. Tova had only been getting more and more disgruntled as the weeks passed and Shiro found he couldn’t trust him to be alone with Lotor anymore, not after he’d come in to Lotor’s room to see Tova standing over his bed as he slept, watching him with dark eyes and a frown, hands shaking faintly. He hadn’t been stupid enough to bring a weapon but Shiro had seen the intent in his eyes and sent him away.

And then Lotor grew ill and everything only got worse.

Even Kova’s presence was no longer enough to keep him calm and he screamed and cried and raved and fought as he grew more and more delirious. He was still weak, and yet strong enough to hurt them or himself, and Shiro took the brunt of watching him during the nights.

He grew exhausted enough to fall asleep in the chair next to the bed only to wake at a thump, jerking to his feet to see Lotor had fallen from his bed to lay crumpled on the floor, his breathing fast and labored.

“Hell,” Shiro cursed, moving to crouch next to him. “Lotor?” he asked, reaching for him only to have Lotor flinch away.

“Don’t touch me, witch,” he managed hoarsely. He stared past Shiro rather than at him, terrified and gearing up for a fight.

“I’m not Haggar,” Shiro said. “You know me, Lotor- don’t you? My name is Shiro. I helped you before, do you remember? I’m trying to help you now.”

“She watches me through your eyes,” Lotor hissed, shaking as he struggled to move away.

Shiro swallowed nervously. “Not anymore. She’s dead now.”

“No,” Lotor said. “She’ll never die- she’s everywhere.”

“I promise you-”

“Why should I believe you? Stay away from me!”

“Alright,” Shiro said, pulling back with his hands up. “Look here,” he tried, wiggling the fingers of his right hand. “She was controlling me through the Galra arm, but it’s gone now. I’m free of her.”

Lotor frowned but his breathing started to slow. “That thing is hideous.”

Shiro laughed in surprise, although it was more like a sharp exhale of breath punched out of him than anything else. “It’s not so bad. Come on, let’s get you back to bed.” He tried to put his hand on Lotor’s shoulder only to have him flinch away again.

“I said stay _away_ from me,” he snarled. “You- you _took me_. I could have explained, I could have-” He broke off, his shoulders shaking as he looked down. “It could have been different- it could have- You ruined _everything_!”

“Lotor?”

And that was the doctor, here at last.

“Where the hell were you?” Shiro demanded. “Didn’t you hear him?”

“Step away from him, Captain- and don’t you dare raise your voice in this room.”

Shiro scowled but did as he was told, standing before stepping back into the corner of the room as he watched the doctor take Lotor’s face gently in his hands.

“Doctor Rodak?” Lotor whispered, his eyes widening and the distress slipping off his face even as tears spilled down his cheeks.

“Yes, little prince. You’re hurt, so you have to listen to me now, do you understand?”

Lotor nodded slowly.

“Alright, let’s get you up and tucked back into bed.” Rodak gently wiped the tears off Lotor’s face only for him to flinch and look down.

“Please don’t tell father I cried,” Lotor whispered. “He’ll be angry with me.”

“Of course I won’t tell him, you know I never do. Come along now.”

Lotor cried out when the doctor tried to help him up and Rodak let go of him to run his hands down his body.

“You’re alright, little prince. Just bruised. I’m going to have Captain Shiro help you back to bed and you’re going to let him- alright?”

Lotor nodded obediently, his eyes glassy and gaze far away.

Shiro stepped forward and this time Lotor didn’t fight as he got his arms under his shoulders and knees to lift him back into bed. Lotor was so light in his arms, so bony that Shiro almost worried he’d have bruises just from holding him.

“Doctor, where is Kova?” Lotor asked.

“He’ll be along any minute now, you know how he is.”

“And my Dayak? Is she angry with me for what I’ve done?”

“No, you know she can never be angry with you.”

“What have I done?” Lotor whispered. “Why do I hurt so?”

The doctor swallowed loudly and leaned forward to brush the lank hair back from Lotor’s forehead. “I’ll give you something for the pain.”

“I can’t, father will be angry.”

“It’ll be our little secret, I promise.”

“We have so many secrets,” Lotor said, quieting as he turned to push his face into the pillows.

“I know, little prince. You’ll just feel a little pinch now and then you’ll feel so much better,” Rodak said as he pulled out a syringe and injected Lotor with something, and then finally he was asleep and Shiro was left shaking as he stood in that small dark room, staring as the doctor put the syringe away.

“He’s not getting better,” Shiro said at last. “You’ve had weeks now. Why isn’t he getting better?”

“What do you expect me to do for him after all he’s been through? He needs constant care and I can’t do it alone- I need help.”

“What kind of idiot do you take me for?” Shiro asked. “You want me to bring others here for you? Accomplices so you can- what? Escape? Or get the better of me and Merla? You think you’ll spirit him away and he’ll be better off somewhere where someone could find him?”

“I need help!” Rodak insisted. “I want him to get better just as much as you do- even more.”

Shiro sighed in defeat, looking back at Lotor on the bed. He was already twitching again, frowning through some nightmare as sweat beaded up on his brow.

“I’ll do it,” Shiro said. “I’ll help you.”

“Don’t you have responsibilities to tend to, _Captain_?”

“Let me worry about that,” Shiro said.

“Fine,” Rodak said. “Then _watch_ him. Don’t let him fall from his bed again, he could have been seriously hurt. I need to rest now. Watch him.”

“I will,” Shiro said, moving back to his chair as the doctor left. He felt so exhausted he was ready to drop but there was a warm whisper curling so sweetly into his mind, soothing him. Atlas was humming around him, inviting him in, and it was so easy to just reach out and lean on its strength.

Shiro blinked and sat up straighter as the exhaustion receded and focus stole over him. He was dizzy and nauseous but that was alright. In the morning he’d do his rounds, he would eat, he would rest for a while, maybe. If he could.

He sat through the night, watching as Lotor twisted and turned in his bed, muttering fitfully.

Shiro still wasn’t quite sure what he was doing here or why, what he’d do if Lotor ever recovered. But suddenly that seemed far away and unimportant. The engines were humming with power, the universe was vast and cold around him, full of endless possibilities. He’d just keep moving forward until his journey ended.

But it wouldn’t yet, not for a long time, not until Atlas rusted away into nothing and his engines stilled at last.

 

* * *

 

When Lotor wasn’t burning up he was freezing and it was all they could do to keep him stable. There was someone with him every moment of the day now and Shiro found himself both dreading and looking forward to his own shifts.

He did what the doctor told him, pressing a cool cloth to Lotor’s furrowed brow when he was sweating and whimpering, tucking a blanket around him when he shivered so hard his teeth chattered together. Sometimes Lotor would talk to him as if he were someone else, and sometimes Lotor seemed to know who he was. It was worse when Lotor knew who he was.

He asked questions Shiro couldn’t answer, made demands he couldn’t fulfil. He screamed through nightmares that Shiro could only get a vague picture of through his muttering and pleading.

“How much longer?” he asked quietly when Rodak came to relieve him. Lotor was clutching at the sheets as he twisted and turned, his claws tearing into the fabric and leaving long gouges in the mattress.

“I wish I knew,” Rodak said, reaching over to press his hand to Lotor’s forehead. “He’s always been strong, always been a fighter. But this may be the most difficult thing he’s had to go through in a lifetime of difficulty and pain.”

Rodak stroked Lotor’s hair tenderly, his eyes soft as he looked at his Emperor.

“He was such a bright child,” he whispered. “So kind, so clever- he had such promise. Anyone else would have been twisted into a monster by the circumstances he was brought up in, but not him. Not my little prince.”

“He’s no innocent,” Shiro said even as his heart seized up painfully in his chest. “He killed thousands of Alteans in pursuit of power.”

Rodak laughed and Shiro looked at him in surprise. “He learned early on that he would have to make dark sacrifices or lose everything. Zarkon made sure that lesson stuck. You would have done the same in his place- in fact, you have.”

“What are you talking about?” Shiro asked, his hands drawing into fists at his sides.

“Tell me Captain,” Rodak said, looking up at him sharply. “You knew those Altean pilots were innocent, and yet you would have killed them without a second thought to stop Honerva.”

“That was different,” Shiro bit out.

“Was it? Or did you make a choice to sacrifice a few for the good of all? Maybe that choice seemed easy to you at the time, in the heat of battle. Maybe it was the ratio that made it so- a few dozen in return for billions seems simple enough. What about a few thousand for billions? For the chance to stop the suffering of generations of people? Is that still not worth it?”

“Where does it end?” Shiro demanded. “Is a million sacrificed for a billion still worth it? How about a million in return for a million and one? Innocent lives aren’t numbers we weigh against each other like a mathematical equation. There’s right and wrong- we can’t play god with the odds.”

“We can and we do, in fact we must- or else we leave our fates in the hands of others. The world we live in is more complicated than right and wrong,” Rodak said, looking back down at Lotor. “He tried to preserve life, to bring peace. He tried so hard he ripped out his own heart for it. Don’t you dare speak ill of him in my presence. If you’re not going to help me- get out.”

Shiro sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “No. I’ll help you.”

He stepped closer and helped keep Lotor still as Rodak administered another shot.

 

* * *

 

Days later the fever broke and Shiro managed a few hours of fitful sleep in a chair at Lotor’s bedside. He woke with a start to Lotor’s hand around his throat with his claws digging sharply into his skin.

“Where am I?” Lotor  demanded, his voice shaking but his body tense and still. Shiro could probably break out of his grip but not without shredding his own neck in the process.

“You’re on my ship,” Shiro answered.

“This isn’t the Black Lion.”

“No- I’m not the Black Paladin anymore. This is the Atlas.”

“Why did you drag me out of the rift? Why not leave me to die?”

Shiro licked his lips nervously, not sure how much was safe to share. “We didn’t- we couldn’t do it, Lotor. It was- it was Honerva, and the Alteans from your Colony. They nearly ripped the universe apart to get you back, they drained six planets to get enough power to pull you out.”

Lotor’s eyes widened in shock. “ _No,_ ” he whispered as he let his grip go slack and fell back to the bed. “No- I would have rather died.”

“I’m sorry,” Shiro said as he stood, backing away to be outside Lotor’s reach. “We- we tried to stop her.”

“Have you and your Paladins ever succeeded at _anything_?” Lotor hissed. “You’re pathetic.”

And then his anger faded and he seemed resigned, completely defeated as he stared sightlessly at the wall. His whole body was trembling as he clenched his hands into fists. His claws cut into his skin until blood was dripping to the sheets but he didn’t seem to notice.

“What will you do with me now?” he asked slowly. “Am I to be executed?”

“No,” Shiro said. “No, after everything- just, no.” He was so tired of death, of fighting, of being angry and afraid. “The war is over, the Galra Empire is gone, the Colony is gone. So many things are gone now. Even Zarkon and Honerva have received absolution- you can too.”

Lotor smiled bitterly. “You would mention me in the same breath as them? Were my crimes really terrible enough to warrant that? I don’t want your absolution. I don’t want anything from you.”

He shifted to lay on his side with his back to Shiro, and with that their discussion was over.

Shiro stood slowly and left, pausing to call in Merla so she could sit with Lotor while he slept.

He didn’t know where he was going as he wandered the halls, wasn’t sure if it was late or early. He caught glimpses of dark shapes out of the corner of his eyes but every time he turned there was no one there.

It was just the exhaustion, the nerves and stress and the pressure of keeping secrets. That was all it was. He needed to rest, to eat, to sleep in his own bed, but his feet took him to the bridge instead and he stood there for a long time, staring out into space. Atlas hummed around him, pushed inside him, filling his limbs and mind with warmth. There was a migraine building behind his eyes but Atlas smoothed it away, leaving only a sound like soothing static.

 

* * *

 

Lotor’s illness was past now and he started getting stronger, gaining weight and losing some of his ghostly pallor.

Shiro still took his turns sitting with him even though it was clear Lotor wanted nothing to do with him. But Shiro was so used to talking to his unresponsive body by now that it was easy to just keep going. He spilled his hopes and fears into the silence between them, told the story of the war, the times he was a Galra captive and how he escaped, what it was like to be trapped in the lonely silence of the Black Lion’s mindscape.

That was when Lotor finally looked up at him, frowning faintly. “How long?” he asked quietly.

Now that Lotor was looking at him Shiro felt suddenly shy and he ducked his head, staring at where Kova lay curled up by Lotor’s hip.

“It felt like- forever. But in the end maybe a few months. It happened after our battle with Zarkon, and I didn’t return to my body until after the battle between-” he broke off awkwardly.

“You can say it,” Lotor said, looking away again. “I’m not so fragile I’ll break if you do.”

“After the battle between you and Voltron.”

Lotor smiled a little, raising his hand to stroke Kova in what Shiro now knew was an attempt to soothe himself. “So it appears I never really knew you at all, just the clone Haggar created to watch and control me.”

“I mean- yes and no,” Shiro said slowly. “He _was_ me in a lot of ways. He had all my memories, and now I have all of his.”

“Your support meant a lot to me, at the time,” Lotor said. “You were my only ally when I was at one of my lowest points, my only source of comfort and hope. It is… a disappointment to learn it was just another of the witch’s tricks.”

“It wasn’t a trick,” Shiro said, suddenly overcome by the need to get Lotor to believe him. “She didn’t make him- _me_ \- do anything I wouldn’t have anyway- not until the very end. I’m still your ally, Lotor. I’m still trying to help you.”

“Hmm,” Lotor said noncommittally. “Do you find you miss the void, Shiro?” he asked.

“What? No. No, it was awful.”

“Then why are you letting it take you?” Lotor looked into Shiro’s eyes oddly and a shiver ran down his spine. He could hear an odd sound filling the room, like static or hissing, maybe a whisper. But Lotor didn’t seem to hear it and Shiro swallowed nervously.

“What are you talking about?”

Lotor pursed his lips in disapproval.

“Captain,” Doctor Rodak said as he walked in and Shiro jerked to stare at him, the whispers falling silent. “I’ll sit with him now. You should return to your quarters and get some rest.”

“Thank you, I will,” Shiro said as he got to his feet.

He threw another perplexed glance Lotor’s way but he was playfully pulling on the end of Kova’s tail now, saying something quietly to Rodak with a faint smile on his face.

Shiro returned to his quarters and sat on his bed in a stupor, not quite able to gather the strength to take off his boots. The whispering was back but he knew it was nothing, just his tired mind playing tricks on him. It still made him shiver with fear, it sounded like it was saying-

_Let me in._

 

* * *

 

They stopped monitoring Lotor quite as closely as before and that was why he was alone when Shiro came in to check on him.

He stopped short as he entered the medbay. Lotor was sitting propped up on pillows with Kova draped over his shoulders. He held a dagger in his hands and was staring at it thoughtfully, running a fingertip over the blade.

“What are you doing?” Shiro breathed out, his heart beating hard in his chest. Surely Lotor wasn’t thinking-

“I’m contemplating my continued existence,” Lotor said thoughtfully. He didn’t seem sad, or angry, or upset in any way, and Shiro wasn’t sure if that made him more or less worried.

“Where did you get that?”

“Even cats obey their masters some of the time,” Lotor said with a brittle smile.

“ _Don’t_ ,” Shiro said, too afraid to get any closer.

Lotor looked up at him, his expression blank and bottomless. “Why not?” he asked, tilting his head to the side. “My entire life has been wasted in a futile quest. A mad woman has committed unspeakable horrors in my name. My birthright is destroyed, and all my dreams as well.

“The Galra way is victory or death. You have taken victory from me, and death as well. So what is left for me now?”

Kova yawned and started to purr, and that was the only thing that stopped Shiro from trying to lunge for the blade. Kova seemed well tuned to what was happening around him, if he wasn’t agitated maybe this wasn’t quite as bad as Shiro feared.

Lotor raised the knife and Shiro stood frozen, staring as Lotor moved to gather his hair with one hand and sliced through it with the other, pulling the lank strands away to stare for a moment before letting them fall to the ground. They made a surprisingly loud sound as they hit the floor in a clump.

Lotor set the knife down on his bedside table and Shiro took an uncertain step forward.

“I’d like to bathe,” Lotor said. “Even when I was gallivanting about through ancient Altean ruins for phoebs at a time I never allowed myself to get to such a shameful state.”

“Can you walk?”

“I suppose we shall see,” Lotor said, straightening and wincing as he lowered his legs off the edge of the bed.

He wobbled and nearly collapsed as he stood, and didn’t protest as Shiro moved closer to slide under his shoulder, supporting him with an arm around his waist. “This way,” he said, leading him towards the bathroom of the medbay.

He helped Lotor sit down on the edge of the tub as he turned on the water, spending a little too much time making sure the temperature was alright.

He didn’t look as Lotor raised his shaking hands, still so painfully skeletal, to the fastenings of his shirt, and then his pants. He was panting quietly as he got to his feet and slipped off his clothes.

It was hard not to look but Shiro managed it as he helped Lotor into the tub.

“I’d go, but I’m worried-”

“Worried I’d drown myself?” Lotor asked pointedly.

“Yes,” Shiro said awkwardly. “Whether on purpose or accident.”

“You may stay,” Lotor said, looking down at himself through the water. “I find I’m still needed here, so you can rest assured I won’t drown myself intentionally. But with the state I’m in... an accident seems likely.”

Shiro got him the soap and sat with his back to the tub as he listened to the quiet sounds of Lotor washing behind him.

“I've never been particularly vain,” Lotor said, “but even so, this is- this is nearly more than I can bear.”

“It’s really not so bad,” Shiro said. “You’re doing so much better now. I think you’ll be back to your old self in no time.”

“ _How_?” Lotor asked, his voice so low it was nearly a whisper.

Shiro turned his head to see Lotor staring at his own shaking hands.

“Hey,” Shiro said gently, reaching out to take Lotor’s left hand in his own. “It’s going to be alright, you’ll see. You’re still recovering but you’ll be strong again soon.”

Lotor looked down at his bony knees but didn’t pull away and Shiro had the oddest thought, he wondered what it would be like to kiss his palm, wondered what Lotor would do. Shiro blushed and let go before turning away.

“You’ll feel better soon,” he said.

“And what will happen once I’m better?” Lotor asked quietly. “What will you do with me then?”

“I don’t know,” Shiro answered. Even after all this time, he had no idea how to move forward from this. Lotor wasn’t exactly a prisoner here, not really. But Shiro couldn’t just let him go either, could he?

“We can figure that out when the time comes,” Shiro said firmly. “Everything’s going to be alright.”

 

* * *

 

“Captain,” Rodak said once Shiro left the medbay.

“Is everything alright?” Shiro asked with a frown.

“Yes, more than alright- he’s improved significantly. I don’t think he needs to be confined to the medbay anymore, I think it would do him good to be moved to more comfortable quarters. Perhaps in the main part of the ship?”

“No,” Shiro said. “But I can arrange something for him in here, and for you as well. You’ve done well Doctor Rodak, I think you deserve more than a cot in a storage room off the medbay.”

“Thank you, Captain,” Rodak said. “But what he really needs is fresh air, sunshine, companionship that isn’t just you, me, Merla, and a cat. I think we could all benefit from that, in fact.”

“Merla and Kova can do as they like, but you’re still a prisoner here, Rodak, and I won’t risk Lotor’s safety just because he might like some sunshine.”

“And you, Captain?” Rodak asked slowly.

“What about me?” Shiro asked.

“When was the last time you got some sleep?”

“I’m fine,” Shiro said, even though it had been a while. He’d been having nightmares lately, confused visions that left him afraid and gasping for breath. He only remembered flashes afterwards- being stalked through dark corridors, ripped apart, eaten alive. Sometimes he dreamed of being trapped in a room like an engine while pistons shifted around him, threatening to crush him. Sometimes he dreamed of being caressed by gentle hands that suddenly turned cruel, or pulled at him until he was floating alone in a vast black space.

“I could prescribe you something, a sedative,” Rodak said. “Something mild, but you need the rest.”

“ _I’m fine_ ,” Shiro said harshly and Rodak took a reflexive step back, swallowing visibly. Shiro sighed as he rubbed at his temples. “I’m fine,” he said, quieter. “Worry about him.”

“Yes, Captain,” Rodak said, but he didn’t seem so sure.

Shiro left. He knew Rodak was right that he needed to sleep, but he was afraid. He didn’t want to deal with more dreams, didn’t want to be alone in his rooms. Instead he walked through the halls, not sure where he was going.

The crew members he passed didn’t acknowledge him at all, but that didn’t bother him- he liked the silence, liked the peace. He could keep going for as long as his engines hummed around him, as long as his core kept powering him, as long as Atlas kept pushing strength inside him. He wouldn’t need to sleep, or eat, or do anything that humans did, as long as he just kept putting one foot in front of the other, kept walking and pushing forward.

He put his right hand on the wall, trailing his cold metal fingers against it, and shivered at the friendly touch.

 

* * *

 

There was an incoming transmission from Keith and Shiro frowned. He had a feeling he couldn’t ignore this like he had the others. He looked around his empty bridge thoughtfully. He didn’t need anyone here with him, not really, but Keith would be suspicious and he’d ask questions Shiro wasn’t ready to answer.

Atlas remembered each of its crew members and it wasn’t so difficult to call up a few echoes, ghostly forms of officers Keith wouldn’t know or question standing quietly at their consoles. They didn’t seem entirely corporeal to Shiro’s eyes, certainly not to Atlas’ eyes, but they were solid enough to look real through a viewscreen.

“Hello, Keith,” Shiro said as he answered the transmission.

“Shiro!” Keith said, but his smile seemed a little off. “We missed you at Allura’s day- I wanted to check in, see if you were alright.”

Shiro tried not to let his confusion show. Allura’s day- he’d forgotten. Time had been slipping oddly around him lately, moving too slow and too fast. Had it really been two years since the war had ended?

“Sorry, I’ve been busy.”

“Too busy to join the rest of us on Altea for Allura’s day? Even during the war we could find time to be together.”

“Yes,” Shiro said. “I’m sorry, Keith. We’ll figure something out soon but I have to go now.”

“Wait!” Keith said a little desperately. “Shiro- is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine, Keith.”

“It’s just- you look…” Keith trailed off, frowning. “You don’t look so good, Shiro.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Shiro said, trying for a smile. He wasn’t sure he managed it, his face felt oddly tight. His jaw hurt. “I’m fine. I really have to go now, Keith. We’ll find another time to talk.”

He ended the transmission and let the shadows of the crew fade to nothing.

 

* * *

 

“I’d like to feel solid ground beneath my feet,” Lotor said quietly.

“What?” Shiro asked in surprise. He’d thought Lotor was asleep but he was awake now, watching him shrewdly with his sharp purple eyes. He still looked exhausted, too pale and too thin, but some of his old beauty was showing through again. His hair still seemed more gray than the pure blinding white of before, but it was clean and soft as it framed his face, falling to his shoulders. His skin looked supple again, not so haggard and dry, and the dark shadows under his eyes had mostly faded.

“I’d like to leave the ship, just for a little while,” Lotor said. “It’s been… a long time since I’ve been somewhere… real. Is it too much to ask to see a sunrise?”

Shiro didn’t quite know what to say to that. “Atlas is real. And… it’s not safe,” he settled on at last.

“Am I a prisoner here?”

“No,” Shiro said. “But- no one knows you’re alive. If they find out they’ll come for you and I can’t stop all of them. It’s too dangerous.”

“You can take us to an uninhabited planet, can’t you? We can take a shuttle, just the two of us. Just for a little while, Shiro, and then we’ll come right back. Please.”

Shiro frowned and looked down, rubbing at his temples to try and relieve the pressure of his headache. They couldn’t leave the ship, he knew that for sure, but suddenly he didn’t know why.

“No,” he said. “We can’t, it’s not safe.”

“When was the last time you were planetside?” Lotor asked.

“I don’t know,” Shiro said. “A while. I’m the Captain, I’m needed here. Besides- why would I leave? Everything I need is right here.”

“I see,” Lotor said, frowning faintly. “You know I can’t stay here forever, Shiro. You do know that, don’t you?

“Why not?” Shiro asked. “It’s good here, isn’t it? I can protect you here, I can give you whatever you need.”

“Except freedom, it seems,” Lotor said with sigh, looking away.

“I’m sorry,” Shiro said slowly. “But what am I supposed to do? If they know you’re alive they’ll come, they’ll try to put you on trial or execute you. And your supporters will fight back, it’ll be war again. Is that what you want?”

“That was never what I wanted.”

“I’m sorry,” Shiro repeated. “I can take you out of these rooms, at least? I can show you the ship if you’d like. We have plants in the hydroponics bay, and I can take you to the observation deck to see a sunrise.”

“Very well,” Lotor said, moving to rise from his bed.

Shiro stood as well, stepping closer so Lotor could lean on him. He didn’t seem to like Shiro’s Altean arm so Shiro moved and offered his left arm for him to hold on to.

“This way,” he said, shifting the corridors and closing off paths so they could walk to the hydroponics bay without anyone seeing.

Lotor looked around curiously as he walked through the room, running his fingers over the plants as he asked questions Shiro was only slightly qualified to answer.

“Are these juniberries?” he asked incredulously as he carefully rubbed a pink petal between his fingers. “I thought they went extinct with the destruction of Altea.”

“One of our botanists found a way to bring them back,” Shiro said as he watched. “I don’t really understand how it works. Do you like them?”

“Yes,” Lotor said with a smile. “I’ve only ever seen them in pictures. They’re beautiful.”

“Take them, then. We can get a vase for your room-”

“No,” Lotor said firmly. “If I do that, they’ll die.”

“They’re just flowers. If they bring you joy you should have them close. It’s the least I can do for you.”

“No,” Lotor repeated. “I’d prefer to be allowed to come here to see them instead.”

“Alright,” Shiro said. “I can bring you here whenever you want.”

“Thank you,” Lotor said, and moved to stand by Shiro’s side so he could take his left arm again. “Is the observation deck nearby?”

“Yes,” Shiro said as Atlas shifted around them, bringing it closer. “This way.”

Lotor glanced around the hallways oddly while they walked, like he was seeing things out of the corners of his eyes.

“Is something wrong?” Shiro asked.

Lotor smiled but didn’t answer, and then they were walking into the observation deck.

Lotor seemed even happier to see the stars than he had been in the hydroponics bay. He sat before the large windows for a long time as he watched the sun emerge from behind a nearby planet, the rays scattering through the atmosphere to make it glow orange and pink and gold, the light reflecting off distant oceans to make the surface sparkle.

“Tell me, Shiro,” Lotor said quietly. “Are you hungry?”

“What?” Shiro asked in surprise.

“It’s a simple question,” Lotor said, but the expression in his eyes when he looked up at him was anything but simple. “Are you hungry?”

Suddenly Shiro was angry and he didn’t quite know why. “I think it’s time for you to return to your rooms now,” he said, and wasn’t sure why his voice came out sounding so cold.

“Yes,” Lotor said, looking away at last, and Shiro helped him up.

As he walked Lotor back to his rooms Shiro couldn’t stop thinking about his question.

Yes- he was hungry. He was ravenous. There was something he desperately needed, wanted, and he was hungrier for it than he’d ever been for anything.

 

* * *

 

Shiro woke gasping and scratching at his arms, his chest, trying to rip out the feeling of something- some _things_ \- crawling under his skin. They were _inside_ him, dozens of them, tiny creatures walking through his hallways, accessing his _systems_ , touching him, pulling at him, forcing him to move in ways he didn’t want to.

God, they were _pathetic_ with their tiny minds and tinier desires. They had no understanding of what he was or what he could do- how far he could go. He wanted them _out_ , gone, and it would be so easy to crush them and then he could be alone and free at last.

His pistons shifted, his walls groaned, ready to move, to burn with cleansing heat, to collapse and flatten. It would feel so good to be rid of these parasites, crawling around in his ducts and chambers, so slow and stupid-

“What are you doing, Shiro?”

Shiro gasped as he stared at Lotor standing over his bed, glaring down at him. He was dressed in his medbay scrubs but he seemed healthy again, his skin smooth and taut, his hair cascading past his shoulders and down his back, so white it was nearly silver.

“What?” Shiro managed, and for some reason speaking seemed like the most difficult thing in the world. “How did you-”

“What are you _doing_ , Shiro?” Lotor repeated, stepping closer.

Shiro gasped when he saw his own right hand planted on the wall, fingers wide and straining. Everything was glowing around him like Atlas was about to transform.

“They’re your _crew_ , Shiro. _What are you doing?_ ”

Shiro jerked his hand back and the walls grew dark. What _was_ he doing? His eyes widened in shock as he realized- he’d been about to kill his crew.

“What’s happening?” he whispered.

Lotor laughed wildly and then he was on the bed straddling Shiro’s hips.

“You don’t need them,” he murmured, his eyes glowing bright gold. He wore gleaming armor that reminded Shiro of something but he didn’t know what. The armor was silver and orange, glowing so brightly Shiro wanted to shut his eyes. “You have me- let me in.”

“What are you talking about?” Shiro cried out.

“ _Let me in_ ,” Lotor whispered sweetly as he wrapped his hand around Shiro’s throat, choking him. Shiro struggled, trying to jerk out of his hold, but it was useless. He was so strong- how was he so strong? Lotor shifted, pushing Shiro’s thighs apart forcefully and sitting between, pressing close. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”  
  
Shiro fought harder but it was no use- he couldn’t breathe.

“This is what you wanted me for, isn’t it?” Lotor asked with a smirk and leaned down to press a vicious kiss to his lips, biting so hard he drew blood. “This is why you saved me?” he whispered. “Do you want me, Shiro?” he asked as his skin began to gray and sag, crack and dry out. His hair grew lank and his armor seemed to melt off him until Shiro could see his bare chest- caved in and skeletal, heaving as he laughed like a wild thing. His teeth were so sharp as he leaned closer, four perfect fangs moving towards him.

“I’ll give you what you want,” he murmured as Shiro’s vision started to go dark around the edges, his struggling stilling as he felt his life fading away.

He woke coughing and alone in his empty room to the sound of his morning alarm. It was his own hand around his throat, hovering over him and glowing in the gloom. Shiro jerked away and it was over.

He sat up and ran his left hand through his hair restlessly, trying to calm himself down. There was an insistent meowing outside the door and he didn’t have to think twice- the door opened and Kova ran in to jump into his lap.

“It was just a nightmare,” Shiro whispered, stroking the cat gently. It purred and something about that made him feel better, more settled. His shaking started to still as the nightmare faded away into nothing, the details gone.

He felt like he hadn’t slept all night, like he hadn’t slept in weeks. But he reached out to Atlas and was filled with warm easy strength. Kova hissed in his lap.

“It’s fine,” Shiro said as he stood, wobbling a little and needing to throw his hand out to the wall to steady himself. “I’m fine, Kova.”

He got dressed and ready, still in a stupor, and headed to the bridge to perform his morning checks. Things seemed different somehow, like the hallways had shifted while he’d been asleep. Or had they always been like this? He wasn’t sure, there was a migraine building behind his eyes and he couldn’t seem to wrap his thoughts around what was happening.

When the door to the bridge opened he stilled, hesitating to step inside. The room was full of dozens of crew members whose names he only vaguely remembered, staring at him nervous and wide eyed. He opened his mind to scan Atlas- this was all of them, his entire crew waiting for him here.

For a moment he was shocked- Atlas was supposed to have a complement of thousands, how had they dwindled to barely thirty people? Why did they all look so scared?

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“Captain,” a minor officer stepped forward, a woman with blonde curly hair and glasses. Shiro frowned at her, trying and failing to remember who she was. “With all due respect, we think- we think maybe you should stand down.”

“Stand down? What do you mean?”

“We think you need to rest,” the woman said carefully. “You’re- you’re not well. You should let someone else take over, at least for a little while.”

“Is this a mutiny?” Shiro asked with an incredulous laugh, taking a step backwards, away from all of them assembled before him.

“ _No,_ ” she said firmly. “Captain Shirogane- please. You need to stand down, for your own sake as well as ours.”

“And who will take my place here?” Shiro asked. “Who can? I am the Atlas- me, and no one else. You’re all dismissed from your posts.”

The door to the bridge shut firmly, locking them all away. He needed the crystal but nothing else- none of the consoles or controls in that room. Those were for other people, small people who weren’t part of the ship like he was. He turned and walked away, trailing his hand on the wall as Atlas shifted around him. He moved the crystal into the core of what he was and didn’t look back as the bridge detached from the main structure to float dead in space. He left them enough energy to send out a distress signal but took the rest, powering his Teleduv to warp away.

He already felt so much better without them, free at last.

 

* * *

 

He dreamt of a huge hungry mouth full of gnashing silver teeth, opening wide. He dreamt of stalking Merla and Rodak through the halls, though it wasn’t stalking so much as herding as he moved the corridors around them, trapping them in his core.

He knew it was a dream because of how afraid they were.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he told them with a smile. He wasn’t- he wouldn’t make it hurt.

Why was he so _hungry_?

“What are you doing, Shiro?” Lotor asked behind him. “Let them go.”

Shiro turned but there was no one there- there was no one anywhere.

His head was pounding, hurting so badly it was like a spike being driven through him. He closed his eyes as he leaned against the wall and tried to catch his breath. He reached out but Atlas was angry with him, Atlas didn’t want to help him this time.

Shiro took his head in his hands and moaned with the pain as he slid down the wall to sit on the ground, curling into himself. Something was wrong- he knew that much for sure. Something was wrong with him.

The whispers he’d been hearing were a dull roar now, constantly scratching at the back of his mind, chanting over and over-

_LET ME IN._

 

* * *

 

Shiro walked slowly, enjoying the peace and quiet, the steady hum of his engines. Something about the silence seemed strange but Shiro couldn’t quite wrap his mind around it. Lotor didn’t speak as he walked beside him, well enough now that he didn’t even need to lean on Shiro anymore.

He’d come so far from the shriveled dying thing Shiro had found so long ago. He wasn’t quite sure how long it had been now, two years? Three? Maybe less, maybe more. It didn’t matter. Lotor insisted on these walks daily now, or was it weekly? It was so difficult to tell time in space without the steady rhythm of sunrise and sunset to mark the days.

“Where would you like to go?” Shiro asked, smiling at the possibilities laid out before them. They could go anywhere.

Atlas and Voltron had merged for the final battle and it was impossible to separate fully after something like that. Atlas was laced with interdimensional ore down to its core now, and Shiro had seen into Honerva’s mind, he’d seen how she’d built her interdimensional gate and knew how it was supposed to work. It didn’t have to rip apart reality, that had just been her rage and carelessness. Shiro and Atlas could do it differently, better. They could do anything they wanted, anything at all.

“I just want to see the stars,” Lotor said quietly.

Shiro didn’t consciously shift the hallways as they walked but they shifted all the same as he pulled the observation deck closer to grant Lotor’s request. Once they were inside Lotor sank to one of the couches set up in front of the huge windows, drinking in the sight of open space around them.

He was silent for a long time and then he licked his lips. “What are you doing, Shiro?”

“What do you mean?” Shiro asked.

“This is a cruiser- where is your crew?”

“They left once they were no longer needed.”

“Did they, really.” Lotor smiled wryly. “A ship like this needs a crew to feed it, and now it has only you.”

“I can handle Atlas alone just fine.”

“Don’t you mean _the_ Atlas? Or do you mean to refer to it simply by its name as if it’s a dear friend?”

Shiro paused uncertainly. He hadn’t realized that’s what he’d been doing.

“A ship like this has a hunger, Shiro. It will devour you if you’re not careful- and you haven’t been.”

“What are you talking about?” Shiro asked, a cold shiver running down his spine.

“I’m talking about something I know intimately,” Lotor said, still looking out at the stars. “Sincline had a hunger too. It was meant to have five pilots from the start, like Voltron does. I thought I could handle it on my own but I was wrong- I was powerless in the face of that hunger. The quintessence field only magnified it and I was devoured.”

Lotor looked up and Shiro couldn’t look away from him. “I never wanted to destroy the Paladins,” he said quietly. “I was angry, that much is true. When Allura compared me to my father I was so angry. I thought we had a connection, that she understood me, that she might give me the benefit of the doubt rather than simply lashing out.

“I acted impulsively, but I- I’d like to think I would have stopped before it was too late. I only ever wanted to continue my work, to bring about a true and lasting peace. But Sincline took me and I was lost. What you’re doing here- it will take you just as surely.”

“That won’t happen,” Shiro said. Atlas loved him, it would never- He exhaled sharply as he caught the train of his own thoughts. _The_ Atlas. It was a ship, it was just a ship. They had a connection but it was just a ship, a mechanical structure with no desires of its own and he was just the Captain, not some kind of meal.

“It nearly has,” Lotor said.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Shiro said, anger rising, or maybe it was desperation.

“Don’t I?” Lotor asked, quirking up an eyebrow. “Tell me, Shiro. Is any of this even real?”

“What do you mean?” Shiro asked, taking an uncertain step backwards.

“Am I real, Shiro? Am I here- speaking with you? Or am I perhaps a ghost you’ve conjured up to stave off the fear of being alone, like all these others you hide amongst?”

Lotor stood, gesturing around the room.

That was when Shiro became aware of it, of _them-_ the crew, ghostly forms moving through the observation deck, their background chatter filling his ears. He gasped as he turned to take them all in- dozens of them. He recognized the MFE pilots, Veronica- even Keith was here with his wolf, laughing quietly as he spoke to the insubstantial form of Krolia.

Shiro blinked and suddenly they were all gone and it was only him and Lotor standing in the room, staring at each other.

“You’re real,” he said at last, breathing hard and trembling with fear.

“You don’t seem so sure,” Lotor murmured. “Why is that?”

He stepped forward and put his hand on Shiro’s cheek, impossibly hot, his skin dry and soft. It was a kindness and an insult all in one. Shiro hadn’t been sure, not really, not until that moment, and Lotor knew it.

“You need to get off this ship, Shiro,” Lotor said.

“I can’t,” he whispered. “If we’re not here, where will you go?”

“At least I know I am a phantom,” Lotor said sadly. “But you don’t realize yet that you are as well. Don’t you know what your own Coalition says about you? Don’t you monitor their comms? They call the Atlas the ghost ship, they call you the Wraith of Oriande.

“They’re looking for you, Shiro, and you should let them find you. It’s not too late for you to return to life like it is for me. Get off this ship.”

Lotor let his hand drop from Shiro’s face before he turned and walked away.

Shiro didn’t notice the ghosts returning as he sat down on the couch, their background murmurs filling his ears with soft static.

“He’s filling your head with lies, Shiro,” Curtis said, sitting down next to him and running his fingers gently through Shiro’s hair. “If he won’t let us take him we need to get rid of him.”

Shiro closed his eyes and leaned into Curtis’ touch. Something was wrong here, something…

“I don’t want to hurt him,” Shiro said.

“I do,” Curtis smiled. “But it doesn’t have to hurt.”

“He just doesn’t understand-”

“Then _make him_ understand,” Curtis hissed into his ear, tightening his hand in Shiro’s hair to yank his head back sharply. “Make him, or I’ll take care of him myself.”

Shiro winced, breathing hard. “Please- you’re hurting me.”

“Don’t worry, Shiro,” Curtis said with a smile, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of his neck. “We’ll always have each other. We don’t need _him_ or anyone else.”

 

* * *

 

Shiro’s head spiked with pain and he knew something was desperately wrong. There was a transmission going out and no matter how hard he tried to stop it he couldn’t. There was some strange energy blocking him, blocking everything. He’d have to stop it the old fashioned way- at the source.

The bridge was long gone but the entire top deck was wreathed in the strange energy and he knew the transmission was being sent from there. Lotor- it had to be. He’d betrayed Shiro even after everything he’d done for him, he was behind this somehow.

The lift didn’t want to obey him but even Lotor’s Altean or Druid magic, or whatever he was doing, wasn’t enough to stop the manual override, and before long Shiro was striding out onto the observation deck to see Lotor standing in front of a screen.

“-I understand how it sounds but you have to come _now_. This isn’t a trick- I’ve sent you the coordinates, I’ll try to keep him here as long as I can but you have to hurry.”

“We have ships in the sector-” and that was Keith, staring incredulously at Lotor’s face even as he typed something into his own console.

“What are you doing, Lotor?” Shiro asked.

Lotor turned to look at him. “I’m trying to help you.”

“Shiro?” Keith asked, his eyes widening in shock and horror.

But Shiro didn’t have time for him now, he could only focus on Lotor standing before him.

“Let go of me, Lotor,” Shiro said. There was something strange about his voice but he didn’t know what it was, didn’t have time to figure it out. “Let go of me. _Now._ ”

“No,” Lotor said defiantly.

“I can make you,” Shiro said. “But I don’t want to do that. Don’t make me do that to you.”

“Shiro, what are you talking about?” Keith asked. “What happened to you? What’s going on?”

Shiro glared past him as the first Coalition ships warped into space around them. Whatever Lotor was doing left Atlas cold and vulnerable, unresponsive as it drifted in space. Shiro couldn’t have that.

“This is your last chance, Lotor,” Shiro said quietly but Lotor didn’t listen, lifting his chin like a challenge.

“ _No._ ”

Shiro’s right hand shot out to take him by the throat, lifting him up off his feet. He snarled as he gripped Shiro’s hand with both of his, trying to break the hold. It was no use- there was nothing he could do against the strength of Shiro’s metal fingers.

“Shiro!” Keith yelled. “Shiro- stop!”

As Lotor struggled and gasped for breath his hold on Atlas weakened and Shiro closed his eyes to bring his shields online.

“Shiro- you’re killing him!”

Shiro paused at that and looked over to see that Lotor had stopped struggling to hang limply in the air. He opened his hand in alarm and Lotor fell to the ground, laying still and silent for an impossibly long moment before he coughed and wrapped his arms around his middle, groaning quietly.

“ _Shiro_!” Keith yelled.

“Tell them to back off, Keith,” Shiro said, turning back to the screen. “Tell them to back off and they won’t get hurt.”

He shut down the transmission and knelt by Lotor’s side, brushing his hair back from his face. “I’m sorry I had to do that,” he said quietly. “Are you alright?”

Lotor flinched but reached out to grab Shiro by his shirt, his hands tightening into fists as he stared up at him. “Shiro- you have to get off this ship.”

“You know I can’t,” Shiro said. “I need Atlas- I need it to keep you safe. What will they do to you if they take you? I can’t let that happen.”

“Shiro, listen to me-”

“We have to go now,” Shiro said with a smile. “It’ll be alright, trust me.”

He made to stand but Lotor tightened his grip on him and yanked him back, taking his lips in a kiss. Shiro made a muffled sound of protest against his mouth but Lotor only deepened the kiss, raising his hands to cradle the sides of Shiro’s face, and after that he could only lean into it and kiss him back. For a second Shiro’s mind cleared and he was confused, and then his head spiked with pain and he winced, the clarity fading away.

Atlas shook as the Coalition forces started firing and Shiro jerked back. Lotor was staring at him, his hands glowing with a blue light.

“No- Shiro, _no_ ,” he said, grabbing at him desperately, but Shiro pushed him away.

“You’re trying to stall, aren’t you?” Shiro asked, feeling a little hurt. But he couldn’t be angry with Lotor, he was just scared. He didn’t understand what Shiro was doing yet but he would soon, and then he’d be happy.

“It’s going to be alright,” Shiro said as he stood. He looked out into space at the ships surrounding them. They were an annoyance, nothing more. They kept firing but they couldn’t penetrate his shields. He fired an electromagnetic pulse and the enemy ships shut down.

Atlas shifted around him, the necessary internal structures drawing in around the core to be protected by reinforced layers of the hull. The other parts, the ones they didn’t need, split off like petals to form a circle around them, already beginning to crackle with lighting running along their razor sharp edges. Atlas was so beautiful like this- a tempest unfurling and gaining steam, a wildfire ready to engulf and devour.

“Shiro,” Lotor cried out in protest. “Shiro- _what are you doing?_ ”

“You should see this,” Shiro said with a laugh, taking him by the arm and dragging him to his feet.

“Shiro, no!”

Shiro wrapped his arms around Lotor, pinning his arms to his sides and pulling him close, his back pressed flush to Shiro’s chest.

“Isn’t my Atlas beautiful?” he breathed out with pure joy, pressing his face to Lotor’s hair. He didn’t need to have his eyes open to see, Atlas had eyes enough for both of them. The petals began to spin, crackling with energy. They needed more and Shiro gave it to them, let Atlas in like it had wanted all along.

He moaned helplessly, his whole body shaking with pleasure- it felt so good, why had he been fighting it? Atlas could give him everything he’d ever wanted and he should never have waited this long.

“We’re going where we can be safe,” Shiro whispered into Lotor’s ear. “All three of us, Kova too. You’ll like it there, Lotor- I know you will.”

The petals were moving so fast now they were just a blur, a gleaming silver ring crackling with power, and then a shining white disc opened within showing a new set of stars, a new but familiar planet.

Lotor struggled against him but Shiro just tightened his grip until he stilled.

“Hold on,” he whispered, giddy with joy, and took them through.

 

* * *

 

Shiro opened his eyes to see he was in a small dark room and had to shut them again immediately. His head was pounding like the worst migraine in the world, he thought his skull might crack open at any moment. In an effort to get some relief he shifted to his side and brought his hands up to cradle his head, only to moan with pain and nausea.

He was going to be sick, he could feel the vomit rising up in his throat. He moaned again desperately, his fingers scrabbling at the sheets, and then there was a warm hand on the back of his neck pulling him to the edge of the bed and the rim of a bucket pressing to his chest as he threw up bloody acidic bile, heaving desperately.

He winced, breathing hard as the bucket was moved away.

“Some water,” a familiar voice said and he took a grateful mouthful, swishing it around before spitting it into the bucket presented back to him. He actually drank after that, the cool water filling his body and leaving him feeling slightly better.

“I was worried you’d never wake at this rate.”

Shiro squinted up through the gloom to see a figure in a hooded cloak sitting beside him.

“Lotor?” he croaked out.

“Yes,” he said with a wry smile. “I’m here.”

“What happened?”

“Don’t you remember?”

“I don’t know,” Shiro said. He remembered pulling Lotor out of the ruins, remembered him waking and growing stronger, remembered-

“Oh god,” he whispered.

“Yes,” Lotor said. “It was nearly too late for you.”

“I- what did I _do_?” Shiro gasped, fighting to sit up. “Where did I take us? What-”

“Easy,” Lotor said, pushing him back to lie on the bed. “You have to rest now.”

“But I- we have to get back. We have to- where’s the Atlas?”

“It’s gone, Shiro,” Lotor said. “Gone for good. Opening the portal nearly drained the both of you completely and we ended up crash landing. After I dragged you out of the wreckage it was taken by the Imperial Guards, and even if we could get it back and repair it- it would kill me if I ever stepped foot aboard it again. And I think we both know you can’t be trusted with it alone.”

“So what do we do now?” Shiro whispered. “How do we get back?”

“We don’t,” Lotor said firmly. “This is it, Shiro. Welcome to your new life.”

“Oh god,” Shiro managed, curling up into a ball and taking his head into his hands. His right arm felt strange, different, and he looked down to see a surprisingly lifelike prosthetic in place of his familiar floating Altean arm. “What-?”

“It had to be done, I’m sorry,” Lotor said carefully. “It connected you to the Atlas, it was draining your quintessence. I found a doctor here, they performed the operation a few cycles ago. You’ve been doing better since.”

“Where are we?”

“You would know better than I, you brought us here,” Lotor said stiffly, arching a brow.

“I-” Shiro winced as memories flooded through him. “I’m sorry. I- I hurt you, and I- I’m so sorry.”

Lotor was quiet for a long time and then he moved to brush his fingers through Shiro’s hair. “I forgive you,” he said at last. “I’d be the last person to blame you for- for something like that.”

He was silent again, and then he sighed. “Wherever we are, this place, this version of what must be Altea, they suffered a great calamity here. Unfortunate for them, but fortunate for us as we’re now just two refugees amongst thousands of others. I never thought I would-” he broke off to laugh quietly.

“The Altean Empire rules this planet. They’ve been taking care of us along with the others. There are people of many races here, so many half-breeds. We can blend in, we can make a life for ourselves. I suppose we’ll have to now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yes I know, you’ve said.”

Shiro heard a meow and couldn’t help flinching as Kova jumped on the bed, but the cat only licked his cheek with his raspy tongue and curled up to sleep by his face.

“Hey, buddy,” Shiro whispered, raising his hand to run his fingers over the cat’s back.

“Rest now,” Lotor said firmly. “We’ll talk more when you’re feeling stronger.”

 

* * *

 

Shiro was sick for a long time, too long to properly measure. He was ashamed that Lotor had to wipe his brow and clean his vomit, help him bathe- but so impossibly relieved to have him here, still with him after everything.

He still heard the Atlas screaming at him from a great distance away. Crying, begging, pleading with him. He heard the whispers in his dreams, and sometimes when he was awake too. He didn’t want to tell Lotor but somehow he already seemed to know, peering down at him as he suffered through a particularly bad migraine before he pressed his hot hand to Shiro’s clammy forehead.

“It’s over, Shiro,” he said. “It will let go of you soon, but first you’ll have to let go of it.”

Shiro closed his eyes and whimpered as he clenched his teeth, trying so hard to push the Atlas _out_.

“That’s it,” Lotor whispered, stroking the side of his face gently. “That’s it, Shiro. Fight it. You let it take you for a while, but you can still come back from this, I know that for myself. Fight it.”

Shiro groaned and turned away, Lotor’s reassuring presence suddenly too much for him.

“It’s going to be alright,” Lotor said quietly, “I’m going to take care of you. It’s alright Shiro, fight it and I’ll take care of everything else.”

Eventually he was strong enough to bathe himself, feed himself, and still he heard whispers at the back of his mind, still had to press close to Lotor beside him as they slept in their narrow bed to try and ground himself, to push the Atlas back.

As the pain slowly faded Shiro felt himself overcome by grief, by guilt, but every feeling he’d spent so long pushing down and away. He’d wanted to be numb so badly that he’d nearly lost himself completely in it, and now he felt helpless in the face of everything rushing through him all at once. The grief of the war, the grief of losing everything, _destroying_ everything he’d had left threatened to drown him.

He thought of Keith’s face, the horror in his eyes, and maybe that was the most painful thing of all. The last time Keith saw him, would ever see him, Shiro had been possessed, mad, _violent_. He’d nearly killed Lotor while Keith watched. He’d opened a portal into another reality and then just left, and no one would ever find out what had happened to him.

He wondered if they’d have a funeral for him, put up a plaque somewhere, or if he’d dishonored himself enough for them to think good riddance and move on. He wasn’t sure what would be worse- to be discarded and forgotten or to be missed and mourned, bringing pain to all the people he’d left behind.

As the days passed he only felt worse, more and more despondent. How could he have let this happen to him, how had he not noticed the Atlas taking over his mind? He’d welcomed it even, anything just to feel warm and strong, at peace if only for a little while.

He wasn’t prepared when Lotor threw open the curtains of their tiny room to let in the bright afternoon light and manhandled him to his feet.

“Wash,” he ordered, “and then get dressed.” He pushed clothes into Shiro’s shaking hands. “We’re going out. You need fresh air.”

“I can’t-”

“Stop that, Captain,” Lotor cut him off firmly. “You very well can, and you will. _Now_. Go on.”

“Lotor, please,” Shiro said quietly. “I really- I just. I can’t.”

Lotor paused, his voice softening. “Grieving is important, Shiro. Grieving is healthy. You have a lot to grieve for. But whatever it is you’re doing here is bringing you more harm than good. You’re tearing yourself apart and I can’t allow it to continue. Now- shower, get dressed, we’re going out.”

Shiro didn’t know how he managed it, but Lotor’s certainty pushed him forward and he got himself clean and fully dressed for the first time in- god, he didn’t know.

Lotor took him by the arm as soon as he stepped back into the main room and didn’t say anything as he led Shiro down a rickety set of wooden steps and out into a narrow street, bustling with people and hoverbikes and delivery carts, loud and boisterous.

Shiro winced at the activity but Lotor pulled him mercilessly onward and he had no choice but to walk and take in his surroundings.

Slowly he realized where they were- they were in Haggar’s perfect reality, the Altea where she thought she could get her family back. He wasn’t sure what to say, wasn’t sure if he should tell Lotor that his father was here- that _he_ was here.

Maybe he’d never have to tell the truth, he and Lotor were just two lost souls among many, what were the chances they’d ever run into the royal family?

If Lotor already knew he didn’t say, all he seemed to care about was helping Shiro get well.

Slowly Shiro got stronger, though he still mostly stayed in their room and slept when Lotor wasn’t forcing him to go outside. But he couldn’t help but notice the way Lotor changed- becoming relaxed and happy like a flower blooming under the sun. He had no responsibilities, no duties, no schemes, no life-long quest to focus on. It felt like he was more truly _himself_ than Shiro had ever seen him, and he was so radiant that sometimes Shiro had a hard time looking directly at him.

He seemed well-suited to this place, using his Altean shape-shifting abilities to change his skin to a light brown, two purple marks standing out over his cheeks helping him blend in with the numerous Alteans in the city.

He was charming and handsome and dangerous, his familiar cunning showing through when he goaded two merchants into a trading war that escalated into a full-on feud and left one of them abruptly out of business and his particularly choice apartment up for grabs. Lotor was only too ready to move in on it, as a favor to the landlord, of course.

He seemed to trade in favors, building up a reputation as- Shiro didn’t really know. All he knew was that sometimes when he sat out on their balcony people would stop and yell up at him, asking if his ‘companion’ was available. For what, they never seemed to say. Lotor came back from whatever he did during the days with food and sometimes flowers, bearing gifts of clothing and furnishings and more besides.

“You were right about one thing,” Lotor whispered thoughtfully against the back of Shiro’s neck one night before they fell asleep. “I do like it here.”

Soon Lotor insisted on taking Shiro out for walks every evening and he and Lotor and Kova made their way through the streets, taking in their surroundings. Even in the aftermath of the mecha battle the city was beautiful, full of people of all races talking and laughing and rebuilding, enjoying their time together.

Shiro missed home, missed Earth and his friends- and yet he couldn’t help but start to relax here, an odd feeling like peace and happiness slowly stealing over him. It was his first taste of normalcy in years.

It was on one of these walks that they came across the sounds of a fight in an alley and Lotor dragged Shiro to a wall as he peered past the corner.

“We should help,” Shiro whispered when it seemed Lotor was content to simply wait.

“Fine,” Lotor said at last, glaring, and pulled his hood low over his face, motioning for Shiro to do the same. The two of them walked towards the commotion to see three men beating on a youth in a dark cloak.

“Hey,” Shiro yelled and the attackers looked up.

Lotor was less demonstrative, stalking over to punch one of them in the face and flooring him with a single hit. Shiro followed and the attackers scattered.

“Foolish boy,” Lotor said sharply as he helped the youth to his feet. “If you can’t take care of yourself you shouldn’t be wandering the streets alone at night.”

The youth was shaking as he leaned against the wall, fighting to catch his breath.

“Prince Lotor!”

Lotor flinched and turned to see a complement of Galra guards striding towards them. The youth flinched and looked too.

“Prince Lotor, are you alright?” the head guard asked as he rushed forward, taking the youth by the upper arms as Shiro’s eyes widened.

“Yes, Commander Sendak,” the youth- this reality’s Prince Lotor said.

“We should go,” Shiro said nervously but Sendak, young and unscarred, turned on him with a snarl.

“I’ll drag you to hell for what you did to him-”

“Commander Sendak!” young Lotor exclaimed. “These men helped me.”

“I see,” Sendak said, his ears drooping a little. “We’d better get you and these men back to the palace.”

“No,” Lotor said faintly. “I- my companion is right. We really- we’d really better go.”

“Nonsense,” Sendak said dismissively. “The Emperor will want to reward the men that helped his son. Come now.”

“We don’t need a reward-” Lotor tried.

“You’d disobey the Emperor?” Sendak asked dangerously and Lotor closed his mouth, swallowing loudly. Shiro stepped closer to take his hand.

“No, we’ll do as you say,” Shiro said quietly. “Won’t we?” He looked at Lotor, trying to see the expression on his face. It was no use, all he could see was the firm set of his jaw and his tight lips in the dark.

Sendak stepped forward to drop his hand heavily over young Prince Lotor’s shoulders and the youth smiled up at them apologetically as he was led away.

“It was fine, I could have handled it,” young Lotor said faintly in the distance as Sendak growled something at him in well-meaning annoyance.

Shiro and Lotor followed a few steps behind, flanked by guards. Lotor’s hand was clammy in Shiro’s and he tried to squeeze his fingers reassuringly.

Before long they were led into the main throne room of the palace and Lotor drew up short as he stared at Zarkon standing at the far end, young and strong, untainted by quintessence. He was an Emperor in his prime, not the dark twisted creature Lotor had known all his life, and he looked down at them with kindness in his eyes.

“It’s alright,” Shiro whispered and wrapped an arm around Lotor’s waist, leading him closer.

“What have I told you about slipping away from your guards?” Zarkon asked young Lotor. “I’m very angry with you.”

Lotor flinched even as his younger version looked sheepishly down at the ground, more annoyed than afraid.

“I’m sorry, father,” young Lotor muttered, a note of petulance creeping into his voice.

“Sorry isn’t enough! From now on you’ll obey Commander Sendak, and you’ll stop pulling these stunts!”

“Yes, father,” young Lotor said.

“Well,” Zarkon said. “I’m glad you came to no harm, my son.”

Lotor’s hand tightened nervously in Shiro’s own when Zarkon looked over at the two of them.

“Show your faces in the presence of the Emperor,” Sendak ordered.

For a second Shiro was worried Lotor hadn’t heard, but then his shoulders drew up with tension and he pulled back his hood as Shiro followed his lead.

Zarkon frowned down at them faintly.

“It appears I have the two of you to thank for my foolish son’s well being.”

Lotor fell to his knees almost helplessly, averting his eyes, and Zarkon stepped down off his dais.

“There’s no need for that,” he said with a warm smile as he walked closer. “Rise.”

Lotor stood, still not meeting his gaze.

“Look at me,” Zarkon said, reaching out to take Lotor’s chin in his hand, tilting his face up. Lotor flinched and closed his eyes and Shiro stepped forward to press a reassuring hand to his lower back.

“Odd,” Zarkon said thoughtfully as he let Lotor go. “I feel almost as if I know you.”

“No, Sire,” Lotor whispered shakily.

“You’ve done me a great service this day,” Zarkon said. “I can never repay you for my son’s safety. Thank you.”

He stepped forward and took Lotor in his arms and Lotor made a choked-off desperate sound, like surprise, like desire, like everything he’d ever wanted manifesting in a small pained gasp.

Zarkon held him until Lotor hesitantly raised his hands to wrap around the Emperor’s back, and then he held him for a while longer, like he _knew_. When he stepped back Shiro caught a glimpse of tears running down Lotor’s cheeks before he looked down and pulled his hood up to hide his face.

Zarkon still seemed perplexed as he turned his gaze to Shiro. “You can have any reward you like,” he said at last. “Anything. Think on it. I’ll have my guards escort you out.”

“Thank you, Sire,” Shiro said with a respectful nod, and then Zarkon put his arm around young Lotor’s shoulders and the two of them walked away with their heads tilted towards each other, laughing quietly about something Shiro didn’t hear.

“This way,” Sendak said, glancing between the two of them curiously.

Lotor didn’t make a sound as they left the palace but once they got back to their modest home he sobbed as he dropped heavily to the bed and Shiro sat close to him, pulling him into his arms as he wept.

 

* * *

 

“What about this one?” Lotor asked, holding up a hideously bright yellow tunic.

Shiro wrinkled his nose and Lotor laughed. “Not your color? Fine, this one then.” He picked something even more garish and Shiro sighed, turning away.

“I don’t need new clothes,” he muttered as he looked around the bustling marketplace.

“You’ll need to be dressed in something respectable when we go to the palace to claim our reward,” Lotor said behind him, continuing to browse through the stall despite Shiro’s reluctance.

“We’re not actually going back there, are we?” Shiro asked in surprise.

“Of course we are,” Lotor said absently. “This one will suit you.”

Shiro turned to see him holding something not completely horrible for once, a black tunic trimmed in gold with a matching belt.

“Look, there's boots, too.”

“Lotor, what if- I don’t know. What if we break reality somehow?”

“We haven’t yet, so I don’t see the harm. Besides, he said we could have _anything_. When an Emperor offers you _anything_ you don’t say no, you pick the biggest thing you can think of and ask very politely. Go try this on.”

Shiro took the clothes Lotor shoved in his hands and let himself be pushed towards a small changing area at the back.

“You won’t- you won’t mind seeing him again?” Shiro asked.

“He’s not my father, Shiro,” Lotor said quietly. “That first time came as a bit of a shock, I’ll admit. I didn’t think I’d see him here much less how different he would be. I used to dream my father would be kind to me like that, and experiencing it first hand was- difficult. But I’m prepared for it the second time, and really this is an opportunity too good to waste. Now go on- see how it fits.”

Shiro stepped behind the curtain obediently and got changed, fumbling a little too long with the unfamiliar style of fastenings on the boots. When he walked out he froze as he saw Lotor on the other side of the stall, talking to Commander Sendak who was standing a little too close.

Sendak was smiling shyly and he had his hand on Lotor’s waist and Lotor was _blushing_ and Shiro felt an ugly emotion boiling in his gut, a mix of anger and fear and jealousy.

He walked over, Lotor’s name threatening to fall from his lips, but he couldn’t just say that here.

“Uh, hi,” he said awkwardly. “Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine, Shiro,” Lotor said easily. “Commander Sendak was passing by and stopped to say hello.”

“Yes, well-” Sendak started and broke off, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I’d better go. And- it was a pleasure seeing you again, Lahn. Here-” he pushed something into Lotor’s hand and left.

“Lahn?” Shiro asked once Sendak was out of ear shot.

“Well I couldn’t very well tell him my real name, could I? It was the first I could think of.”

“What’s that?” Shiro asked and Lotor opened his hand to reveal a small piece of paper.

Lotor laughed breathily. “It’s Sendak’s comm signature.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, I'll need it so we can figure out where we're meeting for dinner tonight.”

Shiro’s gut sank. “You’re going on a date? With _Sendak_?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Lotor said as he slid the paper into his pocket. “Although I hope this version of him isn’t quite so free with his teeth. I suppose I’ll find out.”

Shiro was utterly speechless as Lotor turned and ran his eyes down his body appreciatively. “Excellent,” he said, reaching out casually to adjust the fall of the tunic before undoing a few of the buttons. “Wear it like this. We’re getting it. Shopkeep?”

Shiro was still in a stupor as Lotor paid for the clothes.

“Take those off, don’t get them dirty before our audience,” Lotor said, pushing him back to the changing area.

As Shiro changed he couldn’t stop thinking about what Lotor had said and how casually he’d said it. He couldn’t imagine Lotor together with _Sendak_ , he only knew the man as a vicious brute. But maybe, when they were both younger, and if Sendak used to look the way he did now, here-

Suddenly the image was crystal clear, Sendak- young and unscarred and oddly handsome- pushing Lotor up against a wall, sliding his huge furry hands under his thighs to lift him up, Lotor wrapping his legs around Sendak’s hips and his arms around his shoulders, gasping as the Galra bit at his neck-

Shiro shut his eyes, breathing hard as he tried desperately to think about anything else.

“What do you think we should ask for?” Lotor said once Shiro emerged from the changing room.

“What?” Shiro asked, praying his face didn’t give away what he’d been thinking.

“What should we ask for?” Lotor repeated. “It’s surprisingly easy to go wrong with money, too much and it’s an insult, too little and you waste the offer. Besides, there’s no standardized universal currency here like back home- we can be rich in Altean crown bills and still be paupers if we leave the bounds of the Empire. Come, Shiro- there are still some things I’d like to get.”

Shiro followed as Lotor led them confidently through the market, pausing every so often to buy books, jewelry, children’s toys, any number of other things that he had no use for that left Shiro wondering what exactly he was doing.

“It’s better to ask for something concrete, a single item of value,” Lotor continued. “I thought we’d ask for a ship. Not a cruiser of course, something a little more modest. This reality doesn’t seem to be engulfed in war so we should be fine with a mid-size ship that’s not heavily armed, and of course we could always retrofit it with more weapons if we need them.”

“Wait, what?” Shiro asked. “You don’t want to stay here? I thought you liked it here.”

Lotor shrugged. “I like having options, Shiro. Think on it- let me know if you have a better idea. Think fast, we need to trade on the Emperor’s favor while we still have it. It’s already been a quintant, a few more and his gratitude may grow stale.”

He paused at a jewelry stall, running his fingers over some sort of web-like arrangement of delicate gold chains, and Shiro couldn’t help picturing him wearing it- and nothing else.

Suddenly he remembered what Sendak has said during the Kral Zera- threatening to take Lotor as his slave. He remembered being Sendak’s captive, every cruelty and punishment. And Lotor was going on a date with him like none of it mattered?

He had to stop and close his eyes, he was going to be sick.

“Shiro? You don’t look so well. What’s wrong?”

Shiro looked up into Lotor’s concerned gaze and that only made him feel worse.

Lotor frowned. “Perhaps I should stay with you tonight.”

“No,” he managed. “I’m fine.”

The Sendak of this reality wasn’t the same as the one Shiro knew, and Shiro had no right to be angry or jealous. “You should go on your date, if that’s what you want. You’ve already spent three years trapped with me, much less everything that happened before. You deserve to go out and have some fun.”

“Thank you,” Lotor said, though he didn’t seem convinced.

The walk home seemed both too long and too short, the feeling of time slipping making Shiro break out into a cold sweat. It was fine though, he knew that now, this time everything really was fine.

And then Lotor was leaving and Shiro was eating dinner alone on their small balcony, watching the bustling city below. It was strange to feel alone again- Lotor had been beside him for so long now, while he recovered and even before then, back on the Atlas.

Lotor had pulled him out, saved him in the very same way Shiro had saved him. And now he was off somewhere with fucking _Sendak_ and Shiro was left wondering what the hell he was supposed to do now. Was he supposed to start a new life here? Find new friends, a job somewhere- maybe as a pilot, or a mechanic, or a soldier- though that last one didn’t sound particularly appealing. None of those details seemed to matter, they were interchangeable and unimportant except for the one thing he now knew for sure- he wanted to be with Lotor.

Not because he was his only tie to his past life and old reality, or Shiro was afraid of being alone, but because- because he was _amazing_. Clever and handsome, strong and proud. He’d been through so many horrific things and somehow made it to the other side with his humor, his joy for life, his very being still intact. Shiro had never met anyone so furiously resilient, so capable of taking a bad hand and turning it into an opportunity, and he _wanted_ him so badly.

He was startled out of his thoughts by the door opening and turned to see Lotor had returned. Shiro frowned a little in surprise.

“I didn’t think you’d be back so soon,” he said as Lotor joined him on the balcony, leaning on the railing as he looked down into the street.

Lotor shrugged but he seemed oddly quiet.

“Did everything go alright?” Shiro asked, worried and starting to grow angry despite himself. If Sendak did something to upset Lotor, Shiro would find him and beat the shit out of him, Imperial Guard or no.

“It went fine enough,” Lotor said with a wry smile. “But unfortunately I have too many bad memories tainting the good, and this Sendak is- I don’t know. He’s so… naive.”

“Not free enough with his teeth, then,” Shiro said dryly.

Lotor laughed. “Yes. And he’s too enamored with his charge- it’s very disorienting to listen to stories of how well _Prince Lotor_ is doing in his studies. Did you know _Prince Lotor_ received the highest marks on his engineering exam? Or that _Prince Lotor_ is small for his age, but he makes up for it in speed and stamina, and he’s able to hold his own even against older Galra boys in the training pits? I could have guessed as much, based on my own childhood, but hearing about it in excruciating detail is oddly... upsetting, not to mention annoying and _boring_ as well.”

“Not enough teeth _and_ a bad conversationalist, what a shame.” Shiro tried not to sound too pleased but judging by the way Lotor looked at him it wasn’t working. “You’re a handsome man,” Shiro said awkwardly, suddenly feeling ashamed at the way he was acting. He shouldn’t be so happy that Lotor’s date had been a disappointment. “I’m sure you’ll find someone better soon.”

Lotor smiled, staying silent for a long moment. “What if I already have?”

Shiro’s heart sank and he tried not to let it show. “Then whoever you have your eye on is very lucky.”

Lotor looked at him oddly before sitting in the other chair, tilting his head up to look at the stars with a small satisfied sigh.

 

* * *

 

Shiro woke screaming and clutching at his chest, it felt like his heart was being burned out of him. It lasted for an agonizing eternity and then the feeling faded and he collapsed back to the bed like a marionette with its strings cut, a connection he hadn’t realized still existed suddenly broken.

“Shiro! Shiro- what’s happening?” Lotor asked, holding him tight by the shoulders.

“The Atlas-” Shiro rasped. “It’s been destroyed.”

Lotor ran a hand through his hair and sat up next to Shiro on the bed, leaning his back against the wall. “I’d hoped King Alfor and his Alchemists would have the good sense to be rid of it,” he said. “I’ve come to realize that transdimensional crafts are too dangerous to be trusted with anyone, no matter how pure their intentions.”

“That’s it, then,” Shiro whispered. “That’s really it. We’re really trapped here for good.”

“Trapped?” Lotor laughed. “No- now we’re finally free. The only reason we’ve stayed on Altea this long was because I was afraid of what might happen to you if you got too far away from that thing. But if it’s gone and you’re still alive- that means we can go _anywhere_.”

Shiro looked over and was surprised to see the excitement in Lotor’s eyes as he looked into the distance, his cheeks flushed and the corners of his lips quirked up into a victorious smile.

“You want to leave?” Shiro asked, his heart hammering in his chest. Suddenly he felt cold and afraid. He should have known Lotor was only staying with him out of a sense of obligation.

“I want to see Daibazaal with my own eyes,” Lotor said, smiling even wider now. “I want to see a universe not torn apart by war, I want to see what’s become of all the planets I remember, all the places I miss, and even more- I want to see all the new wonders this reality has to offer. There’s a whole universe out there- just waiting to be explored!”

He looked at Shiro at last and paused, frowning. “Although- I’ll understand if you don’t want to join me,” he said slowly. “If you want to stay here and rest, settle down, I certainly wouldn’t blame you. I’d make sure you were well taken care of before I left, of course. Sendak could help find a position for you at the palace, and I know of at least four merchants who’ve mentioned they had need of a cargo pilot. And if those options don’t please you, I’m sure we could arrange something more to your liking.”

Shiro swallowed hard and looked away. “Thank you,” he said. “But I’m a grown man, I can find my own way.” He turned so his back was to Lotor, he couldn’t bear to look at him anymore. He was so happy to be free of Shiro at last and all Shiro could do was try to breathe slowly so he wouldn’t cry.

“Shiro,” Lotor said, carefully putting a hand on his shoulder.

He closed his eyes, suddenly completely undone by the touch. “I’m happy for you,” he managed. “You deserve to get what you want, after everything.”

“What I _want_ ,” Lotor said, leaning closer, “is for you to come with me, Shiro.”

Shiro froze, not quite daring to believe it. “But I-” he whispered. “After what I did to you, you’d still-?”

“Shiro,” Lotor said, “you _saved_ me _._ You gave me a fresh start, a new life- do you really think I’m upset with you?”

“I kept you captive for nearly three years,” Shiro said bitterly.

“Not quite,” Lotor said with a laugh. “I could have left as soon as I grew stronger, but I chose to stay because I wanted to help you. Shiro, look at me.”

Shiro turned slowly, moving so he was lying on his back with Lotor looking down at him.

“Tell me, Shiro- what do _you_ want?” Lotor asked, and the hope in his eyes was devastating.

Shiro was afraid to admit it but he felt like they were at a crossroads. If this moment went wrong, he had a feeling they might never have another chance. He was afraid, pierced by Lotor’s gaze, but he had to say it or risk losing everything. “You,” he whispered.

Lotor grinned and leaned down to press his lips to Shiro’s, kissing him softly.

Shiro still didn’t quite believe it even as he raised his hands to card through Lotor’s hair, to slide down to his shoulders and smooth over the wide expanse of his back. Lotor pressed closer, moving so the entire length of his body was pressed to Shiro’s side, sliding a thigh between his legs.

“ _Lotor_ ,” Shiro whispered reverently, letting his hands slide up under the fabric of his sleeping shirt and gasping at how _hot_ his skin was.

Lotor laughed, pulling away to kiss Shiro’s neck. “That’s another reason I couldn’t be with Sendak,” he said quietly. “I don’t like it when my lovers moan someone else’s name while I take them.”

Shiro shivered and closed his eyes as his mind ran away from him, imagining what it would be like to be fucked by Lotor, what it would be like to be open and helpless under him, around him-

But he didn’t need to imagine, he could have it for real now and he tightened his arms around Lotor’s waist and shifted to pull him more firmly on top of him.

“Maybe we should take this slow,” Lotor said even as his body betrayed him. He was hard against Shiro’s hip, shifting restlessly, and his hands were hot as he pushed under the hem of Shiro’s shirt to stroke his chest, pulling at one of his nipples. Shiro cried out and arched up into him, flushing with heat at the way Lotor didn’t let him up, his body immovable and solid pressed against him.

“We can take it slow later,” he said and Lotor laughed, tilting his head down again to kiss him, pressing his tongue between his lips. Shiro opened for him, letting him do whatever he wanted, moaning as he tried to thrust against Lotor’s thigh pressed so tightly against his groin.

He needed more leverage, he needed Lotor to _move_ , but he was frustratingly slow as he explored Shiro’s mouth, his chest and sides, playfully dipping his fingers just under the waistband of his pants and going no further.

“Lotor, _please_ ,” Shiro breathed out. Lotor shifted to kiss his neck and as he did Shiro could feel the wet spot at the front of Lotor’s pants and it drove him wild. He slid his hands down to grip Lotor’s ass, massaging the firm flesh before slipping his fingers down further, trying to get at his cock.

Lotor laughed breathily and pulled back to sit on his knees, pulling his shirt off before leaning down to help Shiro with his own. Shiro stared at where Lotor’s cock was straining against the fabric of his pants and then reached out to pull the garment down. He couldn’t help licking his lips as he stared. Lotor’s cock was a dusky purple, the head narrow and leaking copious amounts of clear fluid while the shaft was lightly ridged and obscenely thick at the base only to taper slightly as it met his body, almost like a knot.

“Like what you see?” Lotor asked playfully and Shiro didn’t have it in him to speak- he wanted Lotor’s cock inside him, _now._ “Come on,” Lotor said as he put his hands on the waistband of Shiro’s pants. “Help me-”

Shiro lifted his hips obediently to let Lotor pull his pants off and then they were both naked, breathing hard as they stared at each other. He suddenly realized they didn’t have lube and wanted to cry with disappointment, but Lotor was stroking himself, gathering the fluid leaking from the head of his cock on his fingers before he leaned down and kissed him as he pressed his fingers to Shiro’s hole, rubbing at him gently before pressing inside.

Shiro couldn’t kiss him back after that, all he could do was pant quietly as he was invaded and taken, claimed and owned. He could feel Lotor’s smile against the damp skin of his neck and raised his hands to grab at his shoulders as he opened his legs wider to let him in.

Shiro felt dizzy and hot, more aroused than he’d ever been in his life. Lotor added a second finger inside him and he moaned, shifting to try and push back against him, pull him in deeper. But Lotor had a thigh over one of his, keeping him pinned to the bed, and he bit at Shiro’s earlobe sharply in warning. It was a struggle but he forced his body to still and relax, open for Lotor and whatever pace he chose to set.

“That’s it,” Lotor whispered to him and he couldn’t help tightening his hands over Lotor’s shoulders and moaning in pleasure. “Do you like that?” Lotor asked and Shiro couldn’t respond, he liked _everything_ \- Lotor’s fingers moving inside him, Lotor’s honey-sweet voice in his ear, Lotor’s powerful body pushing him down to the sheets.

Shiro’s hip felt obscenely wet from Lotor’s cock pressed against it, still leaking precome, and he wanted it inside him so badly, but Lotor didn’t seem to be in any rush.

He added a third finger and Shiro cried out desperately.

“We have neighbors, Shiro,” Lotor reprimanded him, but even that was impossibly sweet, his voice only making Shiro’s hard cock jump with desire.

“What do you want, Shiro?” Lotor asked.

He could barely get his thoughts together with the way Lotor’s fingers felt thrusting in and out of him. Even so, he felt unbearably shy about saying what he wanted out loud. But Lotor was taking _forever_ , and he needed more, and that need finally made the words spill out of his mouth.

“I want your cock,” he managed, “I want you to fuck me.”

“When you’re ready,” Lotor said firmly, kissing him again. He caressed Shiro’s chest with the hand that wasn’t fucking him, stoking his nipples firmly and pinching every so often to make Shiro jerk and moan. He was everywhere and still Shiro felt so needy for him, pulling him closer, grabbing at his back and his narrow waist. He tried to reach for Lotor’s cock but he only pushed Shiro’s hand away with a laugh.

“I know you can be patient for me, Shiro,” he said. “What is it that you say?”

“Patience yields focus,” Shiro managed, even though he felt anything but patient or focused now.

“That’s right,” Lotor said. “Focus, relax for me. One more now, and then I’ll give you what you want.”

Shiro groaned and dropped his head back to the sheets, breathing hard as he felt a fourth finger probing at his rim. He fought not to clench down as Lotor pushed inside him, fought to stay relaxed. But it was so different, so much tighter. He was trembling as he took the added width, trembling at how confidently Lotor moved, like Shiro was his already and he knew exactly how much he could take and when.

Through it all Shiro’s cock lay hard and neglected against his stomach, throbbing and leaking precome. He wanted so desperately to be touched, but he wanted Lotor to take him even more, needed to keep his hands on Lotor’s body to stay grounded.

“Are you ready?” Lotor asked, his voice sending shivers down Shiro’s spine. Lotor pulled his fingers out and Shiro clenched on emptiness, missing him already.

“Yeah,” he whispered, watching as Lotor moved to press his cock against him. He pushed in slowly, staring down at where they were joined like he was in awe even as Shiro couldn’t look at anything but his face. Shiro’s eyes threatened to flutter closed at the heat and the stretch, at how full he felt already, but he forced himself to look at Lotor above him, at his flushed face and parted lips, the way his white hair was falling down past his shoulders. He was so beautiful and Shiro couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to be here with him, with Lotor inside him.

He moaned and threw his head back at last as he felt Lotor’s cock suddenly widen, teasing at his rim.

Lotor paused, breathing hard, and then laughed breathlessly and pulled out a little, working into him with easy shallow motions.

Shiro brought his hand up to bite at his fingers, trying to stay quiet, only to have Lotor take his wrist to pull his hand away and push it back against the sheets. He moved to take Shiro’s other wrist too and Shiro gasped as he found his hands trapped above his head, impaled on Lotor’s cock working firmly into him.

“Oh fuck,” he moaned loudly, helplessly, and Lotor grinned. “What about the neighbors?” he managed to ask, gasping as Lotor started pulling out further, fucking him harder.

“ _Fuck_ the neighbors,” Lotor said vehemently. “We won’t be here for much longer- I don’t care what they think. I want to _hear_ you. I want to hear how much you want me, how much you love this.”

Shiro closed his eyes and couldn’t help whimpering, arching his back to get closer.

“Tell me Shiro,” Lotor said breathlessly, “do your species have erogenous zones inside?”

“Yes,” Shiro whispered.

“Help me,” Lotor breathed out against his neck. “I want to- how do I-?”

Shiro moved to wrap his legs around Lotor’s hips, locking his ankles together. He almost screamed at the change in angle, at the head of Lotor’s cock brushing up against his prostate.

Lotor moaned and started moving more insistently, shifting to hold both of Shiro’s wrists in one of his hands while he slid the other down to stroke Shiro’s cock.

“Lotor!” Shiro gasped, trying to push up into his touch. He still didn’t have the full length of his cock inside him and he refused to go deeper, teasing at his rim instead. “Lotor please- I can take it- _please_ -”

“I want you to come first,” Lotor whispered, “I want you fucked out and pliant under me, trembling and sated- and then I’ll give you the rest.”

Shiro moaned and closed his eyes, his whole body tightening, clamping down on Lotor’s length inside him. He felt so huge already, but there was so much more and he wanted all of it. He had no more shame left as he whimpered and writhed under him, pushing into his hand, pushing down onto his cock, trying to get more of everything.

“That’s it,” Lotor said with a breathy laugh, “you’re so eager for me, you’re almost there. Let go, let me-”

His hand sped up and Shiro couldn’t help the way his hips twitched, couldn’t help trying to break out of Lotor’s hold so he could touch him only to flush and moan when Lotor’s grip held firm over his wrists. He felt trapped and taken and overwhelmed and there was nothing he wanted more, nowhere he wanted to be other than right here, right now. He couldn’t bear the way Lotor was looking at him so kept his eyes closed as his body moved out of his control, aching for more, _more-_

Lotor sped up and that was it, Shiro cried out loudly as his orgasm crested over him, hot rhythmic waves of pleasure taking him as Lotor kept moving, kept fucking and stroking him. All of Shiro’s awareness focused on his groin, on Lotor inside him and touching him, and he whimpered as the sensations grew too intense and Lotor finally let him go, sighing with satisfaction as he sat back to take Shiro by the hips.

That was when he finally pushed all the way in. At the back of his mind Shiro knew that if he hadn’t already been relaxed this would have hurt, would have been agony- but now it felt amazing, his rim twitching with the aftershocks of his orgasm as Lotor pushed fully inside, sliding the thickest part of his cock into him at last, until he stopped once he was seated all the way.

He panted desperately, his face flushed and a sheen of sweat covering his muscular body, and then he started to move, not thrusting so much as grinding into Shiro slowly.

Shiro stared up at him, awed at the focus over his face, the way he bit at his lip, the way the blush spread over his cheeks and down his chest nearly to his belly button. Shiro felt weak and dizzy again in the sweetest way, his arousal fading and leaving him feeling only joy and the delicious slick stretch inside him. He put his hands on Lotor’s thighs to urge him onwards.

“Shiro,” Lotor moaned, dropping down to brace himself on his elbows, pushing his face against Shiro’s neck.

Shiro was tired, but not so tired that he didn’t angle his hips up higher for him. He clenched around Lotor’s cock inside him and flushed at Lotor’s shocked gasp, smiling as he sank his fingers into Lotor’s hair and held on tight to keep him close. He clenched again and again, bringing Lotor to his own release.

“Shiro!” Lotor cried out hoarsely as his hips jerked inside him and then he was shuddering and coming into his body.

Shiro groaned loudly at the sensation of Lotor’s cock twitching inside him, his head swimming with a new wave of pleasure rocking through his body, sinking into him until it was like his very bones were tingling with it. His own cock jerked helplessly, trying to get hard again, but it was no use.

Lotor stilled, panting against his neck, and then moved back to kiss Shiro deeply, distracting him from the slight discomfort as he pulled out. He dropped to the bed, still breathing hard as he pushed his damp hair out of his face.

“Where do you want to go first?” Shiro asked with a smile as he pressed closer to Lotor’s side, resting his head on his chest to listen as his heartbeat slowed.

“Somewhere beautiful,” Lotor said, his voice ragged with satisfaction as he brought his arms up to hold Shiro close.

 

* * *

 

“Look at this, Shiro!” Lotor said with excitement as they walked onto the bridge of their new ship. “I never thought I’d see the day- a Galra ship equipped with a Teleduv.”

“Yeah,” Shiro said with a smile, overcome by how _happy_ Lotor was.

“Why don’t you do the honors, Shiro,” Lotor said as he stood on the Teleduv platform, stroking the control pillars almost reverently. “Take us up, out of the atmosphere.”

“Alright,” Shiro said as he sat in the pilot’s seat. The controls were familiar enough, the ship responded easily to his touch. It only took a few minutes and then they were hovering above the glittering jewel that was Altea, the destruction wreaked by the fight between Voltron and Honerva not visible from so far away.

Lotor closed his eyes as he set his hands fully over the Teleduv controls, frowning as his eyebrows drew down in focus. Nothing happened for a few seconds, more- and then a portal opened before them, swirling with promise.

Lotor opened his eyes and laughed in delight. He pulled his hands away and the portal collapsed.

“What are you doing?” Shiro asked. “I kind of need it to be open for longer than a tick to take us through.”

Lotor grinned as he stepped off the platform to sit in the co-pilot’s seat. “I just wanted to see if I could do it,” he said as he sprawled out comfortably, opening a star chart on his console. Kova meowed and jumped up into his lap, curling up into a tight ball and purring loudly as Lotor stroked his back. “A Teleduv is all well and good when you need to make a quick getaway, but it’s no way to see the universe. Why, are you in a rush, Shiro?”

“No,” he said, tightening his hands over the flight controls.

“Good. I know just where we’re going first.” He typed a set of coordinates into the console and the ship beeped as the plotted course lit up before Shiro. “Are you ready?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Shiro said with a smile. “Let’s go.”

 

_fin._

**Author's Note:**

> Now with a Sequel- [Phoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18110432)
> 
> Find me on tumblr at [barbitone](http://barbitone.tumblr.com/)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Phoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18110432) by [barbitone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbitone/pseuds/barbitone)




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